[mvieira38]

May I ask how are you dealing with the hole Youtube left in his life? I grew up on the internet, but seeing the effects it had on me and the world I don't want the same for my kids. The problem is I don't even know what to do in my own free time if not browsing Youtube or playing games, imagine a kid.

[skydhash]

My advice would be hobbies. Learning and practicing stuff can take a lot of your free time if you’re passionate about it, meaning you give it your full attention.

[mvieira38]

Maybe I'm weird, but hobbies just feel like work anyways, except maybe reading. Learning Japanese just doesn't have the same feedback loop as grinding Dota or something... Alas, how would I tackle this issue with a kid? Maybe just throw a bunch of activities at him and see what sticks as a hobby?

[7thaccount]

Yeah that works. I've done piano, jujitsu, hockey, and half a dozen other things with my kid. If they ask to do something I let them, but make them do a commitment. If they hate it, they can stop when the season is over and try something else. The tricky part is to balance ensuring they learn not to quit just because something is hard, with not making them do something for too long that they've just figured out is not for them. Piano and gymnastics were a big no, while they fell in love with the right jujitsu gym.

Not everything has to be competitive or official either. Like you can just go to the community pool during the summer without joining a swim team. I think some parents forget this, but this was normal for previous generations.

So my kid has a few extra curricular activities and then I also do plenty of activities with them at the house like play chess or card games or whatever. They're also watching some of my old favorite sci-fi shows with me. Nearly all of YouTube kids is steaming garbage designed to turn your kid into a mindless consumer. Netflix kids is pretty good though. There are a lot of shows that have character progression and multi season plot arcs that cover complex subjects. Avatar the Last Airbender is an example of a show I was comfortable with my 7 year old watching without worrying about brain rot. Mind you, I think all screen time needs a limit.

[wngr]

That’s a great, nuanced view! Thanks for sharing!

[7thaccount]

No problem! We're all on this journey together as parents. It isn't easy.

The way I look at it though is that spending a lot of time with your kids early on to build a strong relationship and work on any behavioral or other issues will ensure you will set them up better for success in life. I see a lot of kids being raised by tablets and can't help but predict that the parents are going to regret it later down the road. Sorry if I got a little off topic there.

[Baeocystin]

Let him be bored, and provide the tools so that he learns how to make his own fun.

[Barrin92]

> Alas, how would I tackle this issue with a kid?

by teaching them that work is good and necessary. There's a book by Neil Postman Amusing Ourselves to Death, the central idea of which is that "form excludes content". The problem with Youtube, or in his time TV, isn't just the content, it's that all content by the nature of the medium must be entertaining. If it isn't entertaining, it isn't content.

Hobbies feel like work because they are like work, because most things worth doing have a component of work to them. Rather than just trying to see what sticks, the best thing you can teach kids these days is that they should stick to the thing and that expecting "fun" at all times is a bad expectation to have.

[skydhash]

Also there's a period when you're going to feel terrible if you're focusing too much on the result, when you know enough to judge the quality, but not practiced enough to do it well. That's when positive feedback is important, either by reducing expectations (just doing it for fun), focusing on relative progress instead of absolute qualifications, and mental care. A social element works wonder for these.

[mvieira38]

But sometimes you're just tired, right? I get working on a hobby project on the weekends, but I can't fathom working on anything after a 10-12 hour workday

[theshrike79]

PBS and whatever equivalent there is in your country.

There is a metric ton of professionally made non-commercial content for kids.