Seems like you're dismissing the uv single file setup approach without fully understanding it. I'd recommend giving it a try. It's indeed simpler and snappier than any other package manager to date.
Python is fun again!! Omg it’s like when I first started with python before I knew all the pitfalls that were coming. Uv just makes it work again(unaware of all uv pitfalls atm, don’t spoil it for me yet:)