[Imustaskforhelp]

Sorry for your loss.

But may I ask, about the comment "I love tech, but tech doesn't love me"

Where does this really arise from?

I have some theories and feel free to tell me which one is the right one:- 1)Does this arise from the fact that tech is excessively used to create AI coder assistants to take the coders out in the first place

2)Does this arise from the fact that you feel as if you are a working machine in a cog, like most of what coders do in tech is unethical or useless in terms of human resourcefulness (asking because I saw one hackernews post about it some day where the guy was a microsoft engineer working on some project that he believed to have no impact other than surveillance)

Because these were the two theories as to why you might feel like that way. And I am genuinely interested in what you believe.

Curious for your response!

[tmpz22]

Not OP but the business of western tech places absolute minimum value on individuals and relationship building. It's all short term gain at the expense of all else. I'd expect the average tech employee to live shorter less fulfilled lives despite their wealth.

[1]: What makes a good life lessons from the longest study on happiness (Harvard) - https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good...

[2]: The secret to living longer may be your social life - https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_pinker_the_secret_to_living_...

[vel0city]

> the business of western tech places absolute minimum value on individuals and relationship building

It's not just the businesses; it's the workers as well. How many comments have you seen here of tech workers making a point that people in the office are not and will never be considered friends, and they're 100% not interested in having any kind of relationship with coworkers?

[organsnyder]

That may be true in many (even most) places, but it's not universal. I've found the most success when I'm able to build relationships, even at large well-known tech companies.

That being said, I strongly believe that it's never wise to find fulfillment solely—or even primarily—in vocation. Absolutely try to build a career that is life-giving, but there is so much joy and meaning to be found outside of work. We thrive in community.

[gorbachev]

You may build relationships with people you work closely with. I've certainly done that at multiple workplaces.

However, that doesn't mean anything when someone whom you've never even spoken to decides shareholders need 0.5% more profit and you gotta go.

[mathgladiator]

The simple version is that I'm a perfectionist that cares about deep understanding, and I had a good career that fit me well with distributed systems. However, at core, I'm curious and passionate in a way that requires management to smooth me over.

So, I didn't want to be in big tech anymore since the game to play kind of sucks. No matter what "they" tell you, at a certain point, every company drains real creativity for one reason or another.

I love coding, and I can even play the strategy game at the higher level (I 'retired' as a 'senior principal'). So, I could have a very cushy life in big tech, but my heart is to build and tinker.

Low and behold, I decided to wander and build a thing that I cared about. I built https://www.adama-platform.com/ , but I could never really get traction without in person friends. Honestly, I wanted to wander and build, but I found myself in a field alone with a lot of ideas.

The sheer effort to promote new ideas is... exhausting. It's just a stream of failure after failure after failure, and then my home was destroyed. I literally ran out of a burning building, and my priorities changed.

Now, I could probably recover my ideas since I was preparing a new marketing push and try to meet developers where the are ( https://adamawww2.adama.games/ ). The idea was to let my ideas power the stranger topological scenarios (like cron jobs). And, given my background, I could probably have credible success raising funds around "real time infrastructure" / "pub sub" / "gateway". The problem there is then I recreate the problem I was escaping, so why bother with that.

So, now I'm going to just build a barndo with a full gym and get super duper fit. I honestly think doing pull ups will make me feel 10x better than accomplishing anything in tech.

[nashashmi]

That’s how the business world of tech is. It’s not that tech didn’t love you. You were looking for a creator centric universe.

And that is how most professions are as well. You go to school for four years learning to do this one small little thing. You practice that for ten years in a professional scope. And you trade one practice for another, say management. And then you change.

I would think in parallel to your creativity, you could find another system for monetization in education. You could also find a third system in theoretical studies.

[mathgladiator]

also, to prove my feelings. I tell HN that I'm quiting tech and I get a bunch of points. I post about my shit, and I mostly got nothing. (and yes, HN wasn't the primary place I tried to market, but still... it sucks hard)

I did a 270 lb benchpress, and I felt better doing that then coding... So, I'm going from tech bro to gym bro. It's going to be wonderful.

[nashashmi]

Creators of tech vs users of tech are very different mindsets. My guess is the creators culture is not something you can just learn and work with. There is an inherent egotistical nature in the creator. And sometimes that is a difficult situation to work with .