[motohagiography]

the hardest advice I've received was to find what you are still hanging on to that is preventing change and let it go.

in that spirit: you don't have shelter. I would say you have nothing to offer your kids right now except your emotional need. their mother (or whoever) can take care of them. you're out, done, kaput. accept the failure and earn their forgiveness sometime the future if you are lucky, not now. the belief that you have or can be something for them today in these circumstances creates the constraint on the location of opportunities in front of you, and they will sense they are your anchor and resent you more for it.

get rid of the desktop computer as well. pawn it and use the money for something useful like a spare phone or battery pack or whatever car things you need, it provides no opportunity.

you need relationships of any kind, somewhere else. get a job selling something, even if it's in a mall kiosk, it doesn't matter, so long as you are in front of people.

this is the harshest advice I can think of. I can't say whether it's good or advisable, but anything else you get can be compared against it. good luck.

[qnleigh]

Hopefully it's obvious, but cutting yourself out of your remaining social connections is not good advice. I don't understand what this is supposed to gain you, but it's obviously not worth it, for you or your kids.

Also sounds like you should not get rid of your PC, unless it helps you acquire a laptop.

> this is the harshest advice I can think of

Good job. Did you stop to think if this was -good- advice?

[motohagiography]

a man's dependent children are not his "social connections." whether my scenario is the correct path or not, I'd repeat that considering this is what other advice should be seen in light of.

however, if you want to drill down on it: what is a guy going to do with a pc he needs secure shelter to operate? what kind of decisions is he going to make that protect it? what kind of promises is he going to make and break to his kids when he can't take care of himself?

if they're indeed safe somewhere, get into a position with something to provide. it would be smarter to sell the pc and buy a guitar as at least he can busk with it.

[jyounker]

If you think that your children aren't social connections, then I have one question: What happened to you?

You are right that he needs to ditch the PC, but he needs to ditch it for a laptop.

[motohagiography]

if you want comfort read the other comments, and if you want change, read this one. people here seem to think "homeless mess and sad liability dad," is better than "far away dad who will come back," which I think is insane.

depression is a terrible disease because it's like an addiction that gnaws at your humanity and makes you a slave to it, and a lot of parents use their kids as enablers and a source of supply. if change were easy, everyone would do it.

laptops are generally more expensive than an old PC, children aren't assets to be used as connections or leverage to get himself out of this situation, they are people he has a responsibility to that he has failed to be able to meet.

nobody has to follow this, but they have to face the possibility and then decide whether it reflects the truth.

[giraffe_lady]

It's not good advice. Being homeless in the US is a brutal, dehumanizing experience, partly intentionally. Connections to people who care about you for your own sake and treat you like a person are incredibly precious and not guaranteed by any means. I was homeless for many years and I have known a great many homeless people. The ones that can maintain human connections, especially with "normal" people not living on the street, have the best long-term odds.

Frankly most of the people who do "make it out" accomplish that because someone had the resources and decided to use it on this, for them, out of love or obligation or simple charity. I believe very very strongly, based on my experiences and observations directly, that you should never advise people facing homelessness to break any ties that are not actively harmful to them. Even then it's not always clear.