[zeroonetwothree]

It seems unlikely you are spending $30k on child at the same time as you are sending kids to college. Not many families have such an age gap.

Getting a mortgage that is 40% of your income is fairly irresponsible (I’m sure it does happen though). You also didn’t count property tax which is probably like $20k

[hedgehog]

The comment I replied to implies that all $200k income families are "well off". I think this is a reasonable counterexample, and in SF tuition assistance for childcare includes families up to a little more than $200k so the city government appears to agree.

[closeparen]

Yes, it would be extremely irresponsible for a family making $200k to buy even a very bad house in the Bay Area. The bottom rung of the home-owning middle class is much higher than that.

[wombatpm]

Divorce and remarriage create lots of nonsensical situations.