[em-bee]

disagree. feeding your own family IS more important to you. it has to be, because that is your responsibility. you are not responsible for other families. not at the expense of your own.

the question is rather: why is unethical behavior the only way to feed your family?

in case of the suggestion to just quit after 9 months i would say that if there is no other way to get work, then what choice do they have? this is similar to lying about the intention to have children. some might consider lying unethical, but it is so important that it is in fact legally protected in some countries.

[Asraelite]

> you are not responsible for other families.

Why not? Do you not consider yourself at all responsible for the wellbeing of society?

[em-bee]

that's a very philosophical question, and i am happy to engage in a discussion if you like. let me start with that i believe that it is the very purpose of humanity to contribute to an ever advancing civilization. so yes, i do consider myself responsible for the wellbeing of society. in fact i am making that very choice right now, living with my family in a developing country so that i can make a meaningful contribution there and teach my children important values of life, instead of going back home where i could live on social benefits because caring for my children would prevent me from getting a job.

but at the end of the day i can't let my children starve to achieve that goal, nor am i responsible to feed all my neighbors who sometimes struggle to actually afford all their daily necessities. there has to be a balance somewhere. and as i said the balance is to not resort to unethical behavior. but that's not the same thing as giving other families a higher priority than my own which is what you are suggesting (you are not explicitly saying it, but the opposite reading of "why is your family more important than others?" is "why should other families be more important than yours?".)

i brought these children into the world, and my responsibility is towards them first. this does not mean that i ignore the needs of others, if i can help them. it also does not mean that i focus on giving my children an advantage over others, or that i protect them from their own mistakes. all i am doing is to make sure that they are healthy and learn, in school and in life. that is my priority because it is my responsibility alone. noone else is going to do that for me. i am the only one who can make sure that it happens. caring for society on the other hand is a group responsibility, not an individual one. i can and do contribute to that, but only as much as my primary responsibility of caring for my children allows.