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by AnyTimeTraveler 462 days ago
I genuinely have no idea what to chose in the gender-screen (since neither option applies) and can't just say "You don't get to know that".

Why is this needed?

Edit: clarification

2 comments

You could just use what's on your license or ID.

The site seems to be a kind of dating/singles chat, if that's the case having genders/sexes makes some sense, although indeed it could be better.

> You could just use what's on your license or ID.

Not only could that not match your real gender, there are places where IDs allow for more than those two options.

https://www.bustle.com/p/12-states-with-a-third-gender-optio...

> Not only could that not match your real gender,

If it doesn't, choose the other or closest option. It's unlikely there isn't one.

> there are places where IDs allow for more than those two options.

Sure, like here in NYC. That's really more of a personality thing IMO, which gets conflated with sex. Wherever necessary, things still reduce down to a binary choice, with the rest being details.

... And if you're intersex, what then?
Intersex people still generally fall on one side of the binary in how they identify and/or present, so they can choose the closest option.
"Generally", means there are exceptions to the rule. If the ancient Greeks could handle more than two, can't we, today?
What’s a “real gender”?
My ID says D for "diverse". Equivalent to X in the US.

What now?

Choose the one that would get assigned to you socially. The gender filter is about what other people want to talk to, not what you consider yourself
maybe be real?
You likely still identify as masc or femme in some sense, so chose the closest option.

My point is simply that there is likely a 'closest option'. Obviously people don't have to use any service they feel doesn't cater to them, but when a service doesn't always offer more than the binary it doesn't have to always be a "woe is me, how could I ever proceed" scenario.

will update ))