[billab995]

Might seem like a descriptive word but the fact is, it's hurtful to people who are working harder to make their way in life than I'll ever have to. Even when just heard in passing.

Why do things in life that will hurt someone who'll likely just retreat away rather than confront you. Be the good guy.

[mitthrowaway2]

That's the euphemism treadmill though, isn't it? "Retard" literally means late or delayed (hence French: en retard). Back when it was originally introduced to refer to a handicap, it was chosen for that reason to be a kind, polite, and indirect phrasing. That will also be the fate of any new terms that we choose. Hence for example in physics the term retarded potential (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retarded_potential) was chosen to refer to the delaying effect of the speed of light on electromagnetic fields, before the word had any association with mental disability.

Words don't need to retain intrinsic hurtfulness; their hurtfulness comes from their usage, and the hurtful intent with which they are spoken. We don't need to yield those words to make them the property of 1990s schoolyard bullies in perpetual ownership.

To that extent I'd still say this article's usage is not great.

[barrkel]

> Words don't need to retain intrinsic hurtfulness; their hurtfulness comes from their usage, and the hurtful intent with which they are spoken.

Yes; and a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Words don't need to retain intrinsic hurtfulness, but it's not quite right that the hurtfulness comes from the usage either. The hurtfulness comes from the actual referent, combined with intent.

If I tell someone they are idiotic, imbecilic, moronic, mentally retarded, mentally handicapped, mentally challenged, I am merely iterating through a historical list of words and phrases used to describe the same real thing in the world. The hurt fundamentally comes from describing someone of sound mind as if they are not. We all know that we don't want to have a cognitive disability, given a choice, nor to be thought as if we had.

The euphemism treadmill tries to pretend that the referent isn't an undignified position to be in. But because it fundamentally is, no matter what words are used, they can still be used to insult.

[t-3]

Any word used to describe intellectual disability would be just as hurtful, at least when given enough time to enter the vernacular. That's just how language and society works. Children especially can call each other anything and make it offensive, because bullying and cliquish behavior is very natural and it's hard to train actual politeness and empathy into people in authoritarian environments like schools.

[billab995]

You're right, it's the intent that matters. <any_word>, used to describe something stupid or negative while also being an outdated description for a specific group of people...

The fact is, it's _that_ word that's evolved into something hurtful. So rather than be the guy who sticks up for the_word and try convince everyone it shouldn't be hurtful, I just decided to stop using it. The reason why I stopped was seeing first hand how it affected someone with Down Syndrome who heard me saying it. Sometimes real life beats theoretical debate. It's something I still feel shame about nearly 20 years later.

It wasn't a particularly onerous decision to stop using it, or one that opened the floodgate of other words to be 'banned'. And if someone uses it and hasn't realized that, then move on - just avoid using it next time. Not a big deal. It's the obnoxious, purposefully hurtful use of it that's not great (which doesn't seem to be the case here tbh). It's the intent that matters more.