[newobj]

I worked with a publisher for a few reasons: 1) I didn't know what I didn't know, and didn't want to "find out" AND make the game at the same time. I needed a partner for the business/marketing end. 2) An advance (funding) helped de-risk things for me. 3) I needed help to find an artist. I was having no luck on my own. Even with the traction the game had!

Publishers actually came to me. In a weird coincidence, I happened to show the game in a Discord where localthunk, the Balatro dev, was hanging out, and he shared it with a few big streamers. The prototype was streamed to thousands of people like ~5 weeks into its development, and the publishers started showing up immediately. Not normal. Very lucky.

I started very confident, and stayed relatively confident, for myself, but there were some weird days where you'd get a paranoid feeling: "Wait, all you do is drop a ball in this game. Why do people like it? Are they just blowing smoke up my ass? Am I having a manic break, thinking the gmae is good? It really can't possibly be good enough, right? Making successful indie games is something other people do, not me." Needless to say the demo getting reception in October 2024 Steam Nextfest (before being released in December) was hugely validating and was like the "pinch" I needed to prove it wasn't a dream.

Next is healing and recovery ... and supporting Ballionaire. Working on a creative project intensely for a year at the exclusion of almost everything else in your life, esp. at my age -- doesn't leave you in a great state when it's over. It was self-imposed crunch mode. It's not easy to be bounce back creatively or energetically.

Thanks :)

[rsanek]

Appreciate your vulnerability. Awesome to hear your good fortune along the way, receiving positive feedback. Working a year heads-down even with that though does sound quite difficult. I think about all the time how one doesn't have to deal with these kinds of doubts when at FAANG-style jobs. I think that, moreso even than the EV on compensation, is the reason FAANG can be so sticky.

[japhib]

Thanks for the in depth answer! Good luck with the recovery - hopefully the game has left your financials in a good enough spot that you don’t have to worry about the next project for a bit, at least.