[grumpymuppet]

This really resonated with me (I'm now in my 40s).

I missed out on so much because I never pushed back on management who asked me to do X, Y, or Z. "Oh, that's the priority" I'd tell myself. Nope, that was their ass getting promoted by managing a bigger team.

Repeatedly hearing "we don't do X, Y, or Z" when I saw an opportunity to innovate. Nope, that was just an uncreative bored person who didn't want to play along.

I simultaneously feel so lucky to be where I am and so absolutely frustrated at how poorly run and disorganized EVERYTHING seems to be.

I've decided in the next phase of life to kind of do like you suggest. Focus on "the doing" of something I like.

I may even have that opportunity, but my area is facing a lot of instability lately, so I hope it works out.