[fazeirony]

i mean, literally the very first sentence in their statement is a blatant lie that consumers are supposed to just go 'see, they care about us!':

"We're always looking for ways to improve our customer service experience."

in no universe is putting a mandatory 15min wait on a customer calling for help "improve [our] customer service experience" and if they think it actually does, that person should be summarily terminated from their position for being this stupid.

"We're always looking for ways to skirt customer service needs like the big boys at google, et. al., and to maximize our bottom line" is the real translation i guess.