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by sfn42
494 days ago
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It's clearly not about that. You can win an argument without being right, the phrase is not win lots of arguments. It's also not about confidence. You can be confidently wrong. Being silent is mostly useless. If you sit through a whole meeting without saying a word you didn't contribute at all. I don't want colleagues who don't contribute. I want colleagues who respectfully chime in when they know something the rest of us don't, that's also the colleague I try to be. It happens quite frequently that I'm in a meeting where the consensus among my colleagues is gravitating towards something that isn't correct. So then I chime in explaining why I think this is the wrong thing to focus on or why this idea won't work or maybe I have an idea I think is more likely to achieve the result we want. I'm not going to push it or argue, people are allowed to disagree with me. I really appreciate it when people explain how I'm wrong but if they just ignore my advice I won't make a stink about that either. |
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I used to be work with a software architect on a sizable team who spoke less than most others. But when he did speak, it was like the old commercial about E.F. Hutton- everyone listened. If one of us were having a personal conversation with him, he spent most of the time listening. Before he did speak, there would be frequently be some silence as he thoughtfully considered what to say and then he would respond with few words, carefully thought out, intelligent, and wise. He worked on the hardest problems we had, and he was one of the few oracles that the directors, seniors, and leads would go to for advice.
He has been a strong role model for the close to twenty years since I last worked with him, though I struggle and fail every day to come anywhere close.