Still feels like the solution here is just using Windows 10 IoT LTSC to avoid all this madness. It's a bloated product that feels worse to use than Windows 10, plain and simple.
LTSC doesn't come with Microsoft Store installed (a pro or con depending how you look at it), but it can be installed by running "wsreset -i" in Powershell.
Bonus: LTSC gets extended security patching support lifespan.