|
I tend to believe that whatever a person ends up doing is what they actually "want" to do at some inner emotional level (which they may not consciously be aware of). So this person wants to build, but after releasing things to lukewarm feedback, wants to not work on them anymore. Why would they want that? Well, that is a pretty normal behavior I think. But I would speculate... I wonder if this person is like me? Because they sound kinda like it. If so, I'd guess that they know that they're capable of a lot, so they're inspired to work really hard at goals, but that they're also mortified at presenting themselves to the world as confident and capable publicly. So they can work really hard when it's private and based on their internal self-image, but when it becomes public they have to reconcile it with their public embarrassment at who they are, and so they choose (in the sense of: their fear chooses for them) instead to hide and go back to working in private where it is safe. They are hoping for something else to happen: probably, they release one of their projects and it is so well-received, and garners so much respect, that they find a new public identity which they can step into and inhabit, allowing them to be proud of themselves and solving their inner problem. I wonder (more analogy to myself): was this person bullied or ostracized as a child, and made to feel like being confident and proud in public was shameful? If I've guessed right I hope you figure it out (and then please tell me what you find cause I could use some tips...). I wonder what they want to have happen when they release a project? What, if they had to admit to it, would their most happy outcome upon releasing a product look like? Probably it will be sort of embarrassing to even describe, but the details are probably telling: they will point straight at the core anxiety. It will be a fantasy about the anxiety being cured. Just speculating. But I would imagine that the explanation here isn't the real one, because the actual explanation will cause their behavior to completely change, instead of just building an intellectual edifice around it. (Personally I am very skeptical of any explanation that goes "because ADHD", because, what causes the ADHD? In some people it seems to be intrinsic but in lots of others it's clearly induced by something social. So is it fixable? Are there stories of it being "fixed" by solving the social issue? I dunno. But surely the goal is to somehow not live in this tension anymore: either fix the thing or let it go, and not be stuck in a loop of trying to get it fixed by some external blessing.) |