[michaelt]

> Somehow, though, I suspect that insinuating I need extra rest after giving my emotional labor to "plan a night out with the guys" wouldn't go over so well with my wife.

In my culture, events with the guys seems much easier to plan.

The guys will have a great time even if I only feed them takeaway pizza and beer. Barbecue hasn't been assembled? They'll assemble it, light it, do the cooking, and do most of the clean-up too. If we go out for food, we can walk into pretty much any restaurant, we all have money and we'll all eat anything. Staying the night? The guys will show up with camp beds and sleeping bags if they need to. For the first event I had a backup barbecue prepared, in case the halal guy and the vegetarian guy wanted to keep their stuff separate - turns out no worries, just do our stuff first.

And everyone has a great time! This counts as absolutely crushing it, in terms of planning events with the guys, in my society.

On the other hand, big family events? There'll be a giant spread of home cooked food. Vegetarian options, vegan options, gluten-free options. Special food for the fussy nephew who'll only eat baked beans. Some people will show up with four different cakes. Some people will have baked practice cakes in advance to test out the new recipe before the big day.