[ilaksh]

So for me, to be honest, I would be excited to go to this type of event because I hardly ever interact with women. Which is just because my life is sad. LOL.

But anyway, I think that to sell it to men would be pretty easy: tell them "There will actually be lots of women at this hackathon!".

To sell it to the women, you would probably tell them the same thing: "There will actually be lots of women at this hackathon!" The motivation for the women would be to finally get do work in an environment that wasn't completely saturated with men.

Then of course you have to limit the number of men you allow in. The real trick I think is just finding enough women who are in tech, can commit to going to the event, and convincing them that there really will be lots of women there. I think the secret to that is to access to and pull in existing networks of women in technology.

[ahelwer]

Hey ilaksh, some of what you have said is actually a big part of the problem. At professional events, you should refrain from seeing women there as holding the potential for interaction outside of a professional setting. Sexualizing women you meet in such contexts is NOT okay.

[ilaksh]

Excuse me, "sexualizing"??

Just to clarify, what I meant was I would be happy to just literally be having any type of extended interaction with women while I was there. Not flirting with them, or hitting on them, or asking them out, or "sexualizing" them. Just working with them.

First of all, I generally refrain from seeing women as holding the potential for interaction of any sort in any sort of setting. Mostly because I generally don't interact with them, but also because I am bad at socializing in general and also because I have personal priorities to take care of before I am willing to attempt dating again. I'm short, not particularly attractive, I have a health issue that causes me to feel and look fatigued a lot of the time, and I'm not particularly well-off financially.

So I get that. No female in a working context ever wants to date _me_ or have any interaction with me outside of a professional one. I got that many years ago. Thanks for re-iterating that.

Anyway, I can understand that women are tired of being hit on at work. They are just really really sick of it. So I get the motivation for your comment. But to suggest that, based on my comment, I was "sexualizing" women was not fair or accurate, and the reality is that some of the women who attend a hackathon would not mind one single bit if a man who was there who they felt was attractive flirted with them a small amount.

So I think that the truth is that not every woman in every circumstance in regards to every man at every event like that would agree that there is no potential for interaction outside of a professional setting whatsover with every man there. Its worth emphasizing to keep things professional, but you definitely overstated things the way you worded your comment.

But anyway, don't worry. If I ever attend such a hacker event with women (which I probably never will, realistically, I hardly leave my home, and I am really bad at making friends, even among hackers), I will never consider having any kind of friendly or otherwise social engagement or interaction with any of the women there aside from one that is 100% professional. Thank you for setting me straight.

My mistake for being honest.

[ahelwer]

Oh! I'm sorry if I came off as insensitive. I didn't mean to criticize you as a person or anything. I was trying to convey that your post held undertones which weren't really compatible with the goals of events promoting women in tech.

Sexualizing doesn't have as extreme connotations as you seem to think; like a lot of sexism these days, its manifestations are much more subtle.

Anywho, I hope you go to one of these hackathons! It's easy to make friends when you just respect and treat everyone equally, man or woman (or extra-binary adjective).