[dijit]

Maybe I want to be vulnerable sometimes, or weak sometimes, or to have unfinished opinions on things and be listened to in good faith without risking an entire relationship because I would like to talk about it.

Like privacy, people can come up with nice catch-alls like “nothing to hide”, but the default is not abuse.

[em-bee]

this. unconditional love is not blind love. but it means that i am not being needlessly criticized for my faults but receive care and encouragement to work on them. it means that i am treated with compassion, even if i am a criminal. it doesn't mean that i get a free pass to do whatever i want. if i hurt someone, i need to fix that, especially if it is my partner.

and the same goes in reverse. i love my wife and only wish the best for her. but that does not mean i need to be blind to her problems, or not expect her to stop doing things that hurt me or others. but it does mean that my love for her does not stop even if we should separate.

however, this assumes a different kind of love than the love that most people think they have for their partner. a kind of love that is exclusive and can only ever go to one person. unconditional love is the kind of love that accepts everyone for what they are. the kind of love that all the major religions out there are talking about.

(edit: expanded further)

[thfuran]

This goes way beyond merely conditional love. If you can't reasonably expect to be listened to in good faith, you have an outright toxic relationship.

[lazide]

Depending on the topic, almost no relationships meet your definition of ‘non-toxic’ in my experience. And I’ve had a lot of experience.

[thfuran]

>Depending on the topic

In the sense that there might be something you could say to tank a relationship? Sure. But that's a far cry not generally being able to express "unfinished opinions" or any vulnerability, as the original commenter said.

[bowsamic]

You can have that with conditional love. It sounds like your marriage is just bad