[troad]

Shared interests are a key way to build social connections. You say you're frustrated, but then you say "it is what it is" about the most obvious way to make friends. Your frustration sounds like the result of self imposed limitations.

Here's my 2c. Pick an interest that attracts the kind of people you want to spend time with. Immerse yourself in that interest. Go meet people who share that interest. Spend time with them.

Any previous experience with that interest is not necessary - you can be honest and say you're new and learning. People tend to love sharing their interests.

[skeledrew]

Interests being what they are, one doesn't just find things interesting. If it's for the people and there's little actual interest in the activity itself, then it'll show and there will eventually be a breakdown. If lucky, one just might find a new genuine interest with people one is interested in, but that's being really lucky. Maybe a "Tinder for Interests" could work.

[troad]

I respectfully disagree. Interests come from positive experiences. When people say they have no interest in - oh - Mongolian throat warbling, they generally mean they have absolutely no experience of it, and presume - based on that lack of experience - that they wouldn't find it interesting. Naturally, this is an uninformed opinion.

This is where being open minded to new interests can pay off handsomely. If your new interest comes with new friends that you greatly enjoy the company of, you will most likely develop a genuine interest over time as the natural result of those shared positive experiences.

Many of our existing interests are the echoes of positive experiences from our childhoods, and you can use the exact same mechanism to pick up new interests in adulthood.

[skeledrew]

I really don't see how interest can simply come from positive experience if there's no affinity. I've never tried Mongolian throat warbling, so I'm neither here nor there. And trying it doesn't mean I'll become interested in it even if I enjoy doing it a few times. Like I've generally had positive experience doing math (as far as I can recall), but I haven't gained any interest in it. It just isn't there. And that means I'd never join a math club, for example; I'd find it dull, even if I had friends in it. Same for a myriad of other things. It'd be pretty overwhelming mentally if one were to be interested in everything they tried and had a positive experience with IMO, which is why people specialize.

And conversely if I think hard enough, I can probably come up with something I never had early positive experience with but still pursued because I found it interesting. I'm also very interested in traveling in space, but I definitely don't have any experience, positive or negative, and likely will never gain any. I'd totally join a club that talks about traveling in space in a heartbeat though.

[em-bee]

exactly this. interest in something can be contagious. in fact, it is the main job of teachers to get students to become interested in something. which is why i told the top commenter to keep looking. explore and try things. it also matters whether something is done alone or with others. i like solving problems for others, and i can get interested in something because others are interested in it. i like things more because they allow me to socialize.