[redeux]

There’s some decent advice in this thread already. I think it’s a great idea to work on vocal modulation, tone, pacing , etc. Nearly everyone could benefit from improving those aspects of their speech.

What I might suggest is a different approach, though not mutually exclusive. There seems to be a strong emotional undertone to your question that leads me to believe you’re not just looking for ways to improve your speach but also grappling with existential questions about your place and value. For those I would suggest you seek out a therapist and start speaking with them as transparently as possible about your thoughts and feelings, so that you can work through those issues (insofar as they exist).