[jiehong]

I must commend you for taking the time to try to find out a solution! I reckon it's not easy.

Perhaps you could record yourself talking, and then listen to yourself: found out what might make you feel this way if you were the other person.

Often, people listen others only to respond and tell their point, more than they listen to understand what is being said. (This leads to people cutting each other, sadly).

This leads to the point of saying things that are interesting for the listeners ("What's in it for them?").

I've personally seen people ask a question, and get the answer, but the person giving that answer keeps on going for too long with too many extra details.