[pizza234]

The concept of "good therapist" can be misleading, as it suggests the idea that there good therapist necessarily work well with any patient (and as a consequence, patients may give up too early in their search for a therapist). I think it's more appropriate to talk about "suitable" therapist.

In a way, it's like talking about friendships. Some people certainly have better "friendship skills" than others, but because a given person has such skills, it doesn't automatically make them a good friend to everybody.

[manishader]

I don't know, about 15 years ago I tried therapy for anxiety/depression.

The 1st one asked me the most basic nonsense and then told me she thinks I just drink too much coffee so I didn't go back.

The second one told me they don't believe in medication so I never went back.

The 3rd one diagnosed me with seasonal affective disorder in about 5 minutes, gave me a little prozac and changed my life.

I suspect there is an overwhelming amount of terrible therapist.

I don't think the challenge is finding a good therapist but in not getting stuck with a terrible therapist or letting a terrible therapist ruin the whole idea of therapy.

[wruza]

Idk which was worse in my experience, the one with basic nonsense or the one who prescribed me SSRIs after a short talk. I quit by myself after a couple of months and will never touch this crap or walk into his office again.

[brunorb8]

Sorry but to me sounds like you just embraced the first one that gave you drugs. Not that you dind't need it...but 5 minutes for a prozac prescription?! That's absurd.

[lambertsimnel]

> I think it's more appropriate to talk about "suitable" therapist.

Can you say any more about how a therapist might be more suitable for some patients than others? Is it about a methodology (like cognitive behavioral therapy), or about disorder(s) the therapist usually treats (like addiction), or is it something else (possibly something the patient won't discover until after treatment starts)?

[Towaway69]

Being able to emotional connect to a therapist can be far more important than methodology.

If it’s all about methodology then a) we’re robots and b) there would be no need for therapists.

[HPsquared]

Even something like gender could affect the process. There are so many variables when it comes to real people.

[zsoltkacsandi]

Although I partially agree, there are definitely bad therapists (a lot), and it implies there are good ones.

[bowsamic]

I agree. I’m a bit horrified when I hear about other people’s therapists being universally affirmative yes men. Then again, other people seem to be horrified that my therapist challenges me

[switch007]

At £120/hr if people are putting up with yes men, then they need to see a therap- oh

[drewcoo]

> The concept of "good therapist"

That way of thinking treats therapy almost like medicine.

[torginus]

Therapy didn't work for me, and looking back the whole concept seems just bizarre. If you run with the assumption that at least two thirds of therapists are either terrible or just terrible for you, that means that you have to visit at least 3-5 of them, and even if you actively know this, you have to spend 3-4 sessions with them, during which you have to unconfortably open up to a complete stranger, and tell them things you wouldn't be comfortable telling to your own mother.

Imagine if any other doctor operated like that like you had to visit 3-5 endocrinologists to get a diagnosis for your thyroid disorder.

And even if you find the right guy/gal, the best they'll probably be able to do is help you help yourself, as most of the problems in ones life have external causes, and it falls to the individual to resolve them.

It's just baffling that this is considered a legitimate medical discipline in 2025.

Even though self-help is considered a meme, I found way more success with it, as flipping though 5 different books until you find the one that you like and is much easier than visiting 5 therapists. And being honest with yourself is also much easier than being honest with a complete stranger.

[wruza]

most of the problems in ones life have external causes

Most mental issues have internal or behavioral causes. Therapy addresses your ideas about the real world, not the real world itself. For example, it can enable a choice never seen as possible before, and while the real world stays the same, your position in it may change to something unthinkable before.