[finnthehuman]

> Hey author if you are reading this, try doing something positive like help people. Volunteer. Everything you have tried so far has been self-centered.

It's a common enough idea to tell someone rudderless to volunteer, but I feel like it's never tempered with the perspective of having volunteered and reflected on how the donated time has effected one's own life. Shaming someone rudderless into volunteering doesn't help them for exactly the obvious reasons it won't. At least no more than anything else you can lean hard into in life to avoid something else. Suggesting it as a fix to ennui is bad advice, the virtuousness of volunteering just masks how terrible it is.

[wadadadad]

I don't understand what you're trying to say here. To share my experience as someone who volunteers, I find it to be one of the most gratifying (humbling, helpful, makes me see the value of life) things, and I think it's worthwhile to share the idea that it could help someone who is searching for meaning. I wholeheartedly recommend volunteering for everyone who can afford it (which I recognize not everyone can). I'm not sure GP here needs to necessarily state "I volunteer and found it worthwhile" every time they recommend it.

What are these "obvious reasons" that volunteering won't help someone seeking direction?

I also don't follow why you haven't stated whether you've personally tried volunteering and whether it's "worked" for you, particularly when you seem dismissive of it and seem to looking for personal reasoning from others.

[finnthehuman]

>I also don't follow why you haven't stated whether you've personally tried volunteering and whether it's "worked" for you, particularly when you seem dismissive of it and seem to looking for personal reasoning from others.

I do. I did not start to distract myself from other life issues, I joined because I wanted to help the org accomplish it's mission. It's rewarding and fulfilling, but I'm not using it as a mental defense from something else in my life. Whether or not it "worked" in that sense is simply not a thing for me.

It certainly shifted a lot of my mental focus. That's why I mentioned you can lean hard into things in life as a distraction for what's consuming you. And I've certainly used that mental defense over the years, it just happened that the things I used didn't include volunteering. And over the years I've noticed through others that volunteering is a particularly good way of self-deception that you're not just employing that defense.

That's why shaming someone into volunteering when they're rudderless bothers me. It's hard to argue against because it has intrinsic value AND can work in the "the true $whatever was the friends we made along the way" sense, plus the slim chance they find a new life purpose. But also maybe it doesn't and they really should have been shamed into joining the clergy instead because that's where they would have found their calling.

[afpx]

How do you find a good volunteer organization? I volunteered for a couple years at different orgs, and it was a bad experience. All the bad parts of the workplace but with worse people and no pay.

[dijksterhuis]

i volunteer.

my suggestion to the author would be: spend some time volunteering and get over yourself (by that i mean their own ego which seems to be putting them at the centre of everything).

in my experience, some things tend to come out of it

- gratitude for where i am at in life because i’m struggling less than the people i’m helping

- empathy because jesus yeah these people are struggling and i’m seeing just how much it’s affecting them

- humility because you know what, i really am limited in what i can actually do for these people, none of my “technical prowess” is actually useful here

- purpose because man i feel bad for these people and id like to do more to help than just showing up once a week

i don’t volunteer because it’s “virtuous”. fuck virtuosity.

i do it because i need to for my own sake — to experience the stuff above. it’s selfish-selflessness. by helping others i also help myself.

edit — added the one about humility which is quite important

edit 2 — donating money (philanthropy) is not the same as volunteering. in case there’s any confusion. boots on the ground are required.