[Sn0wCoder]

My partner and I had no intention of having children and we agreed on that. Eventually we moved in together and got married. We both had good jobs, traveled, ski / snowboard, hiked, camped, went to see everything we wanted to see. Long story short we stopped NOT trying to have kids (stopped all birth control) and never happened. Started the whole process of finding out who was the issue, and that was starting to add up quick in the expense department. We were about to start an even more expensive process when an opportunity presented itself that led to us adopting our first child. In less than a year we found out we had conceived one of our own. Sometimes it takes one to jump start the process, I guess. Even longer story short our relationship was starting to drift and then with our children we grew close again. Now we have two more best friends in our family. Coach their teams, host their parties, uber them around, and they are like having two more best friends that live with us. Going to be sad when they leave us but also super excited to be just the two of us again.

This goes to what you are saying about purpose in life. Without them I am not sure we would still be happy or even together. Children gave us a new reason to live and something to work on together. Life is no longer how the two of us can be happy but how we can make others happy, thus giving us pride to be happy ourselves. Strange to think about where we would be without them, but glad I only must speculate not actually know.

I grew up more remote with less opportunity for friends. My partner grew up in a densely populated area with lots of friends (my partner is way more socially adjusted than I am). The ones I made are the ones I still have while my partners are mostly gone and live elsewhere. We decided to raise our family in a large neighborhood with lots of friend opportunities as I feel that is the best way to let them experience life. Personally, I would love to be on 20 acres with my arsenal and survival gear, but that would not be fair to anyone in my family. We got the house with woods in the backyard (and a highway behind that) and both sides for a half acre in each direction, with close neighbors to the front. The rest of the neighborhood is house to house like any other. I need to be able to walk out my back door and take a leak if needed and be alone. While walking out the front provides the typical suburban experience. All comes back to compromise.

Whatever you decide, best of luck! Living the Mad Max lifestyle is hard to beat....