| Yep. Calling it an excuse is terrible. Feeling comfortable to talk to an stranger depends on so many factors. You could do 'extrovert' things because you're masking another thing. Because you're forcing yourself (and that can be exhausting). Because you feel in a safe or comfortable place. Or because it feels part of a duty or something like that. A weird thing in my case is that it's quite difficult for me (although it doesn't like like that from the outside, I look quite outgoing) to go and talk to somebody that looks interesting to me, even when I'm on a place that is meant for that: a congress, workshop, whatever. I've been three years in a row going to PyConES, being part of Python Spain, knowing people there, and only this last year I've began to talk to some people. I can ask technical or specific questions, but I can't open a cold conversation. But in the other hand, I can easily do a talk to a big audience or appear on a nation-wide TV show, and I'd barely get nervous. Some people force themselves to do 'extrovert stuff' because social norms, or work needs, to fit somewhere, or because they want to get or do something very specific and 'that's the way to do it', but it's very taxing. Some people (overlapping with that previous group) have identified that 'going extrovert' is tiring and taxing for them, and they rather don't do it unless it's really necessary. And they say it. And I really respect that, because they take care of themselves, and also helps the others around them to not step on their limits. (I'm sleepy, haven't had my coffee, English is not my first language, please forgive my convoluted phrasing) |