[tokioyoyo]

Glad to hear someone else shares these feelings! I've met very kind and amazing people in the area, yet there is just nothing that brings people together. You'll hear from the people in local facebook groups about some small gatherings, but it's just still all "planned". It doesn't replace that "ah, i'm done with work, i'll quickly grab a drink and see who's around!" chats.

I've had incredible nights through just going to the same bar a couple of times during my travels, and people all around the world made me feel welcome. Yet here? No such thing, yet everyone, including me, complains how we yearn for such a social atmosphere.

[computerthings]

Seeing the place where you have lived for years and decades, and the people who you met a million times, with the eyes and openness of a traveler, would be such a gift. I wonder if it could be practiced somehow.

> yet everyone, including me, complains how we yearn for such a social atmosphere

But how hard it is to just tell a person you vaguely know (like neighbors or people who you know from work or venues) "I feel a bit lonely, wanna do something?".. we always have to have a "better" reason than just that. I wonder how many people chat with people they bump into, and then both go home lonely wishing they had a "good reason" to hang out with that other person, like in some weird ass prisoner's dilemma where the punishment is losing face. Probably a lot. But we hear so much about how people are more lonely and isolated, it shouldn't be that embarrassing admit being to be one of those who aren't quite content with their social connections.

If in doubt, I'd suggest finding something to volunteer or help out with. You never have to justify helping out with something where help is needed -- that is, nobody is going to ask if you're not really just there because you're lonely -- and you tend to run into social people. And even when it doesn't spark a friendship it's usually time well spent, and in the rare cases where it's not, just don't go to that particular thing again.

[em-bee]

But how hard it is to just tell a person you vaguely know (like neighbors or people who you know from work or venues) "I feel a bit lonely, wanna do something?".. we always have to have a "better" reason than just that.

i think it helps to phrase it differently. don't say "i am lonely", say, "i work alone and i like to sozialize". or "i am a very social person and i don't get enough interaction at work". to a coworker you could say: " i enjoy talking to you, want to hang out after work" or something like that.

i agree that "i am lonely" potentially comes across as needy, so i would focus on the general positive aspects of socializing.

i should note that i didn't have any opportunity to apply these myself but i was occasionally on the receiving side being invited to join others without any specific reason other than hanging out together. which is actually another approach. look for existing groups and see if you can join them