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After the second shuttle failure, flights were restricted to orbits that could drop off the crew at the ISS. The Boeing Starliner crew is still sitting on the ISS because NASA was afraid to send them down with their ride.

I'm not sure our tolerance is as high as you think. Maybe it was in the 1960s, but not now. And who knows what a couple big pyrotechnic accidents would have produced then.

I do agree with you, we're much more willing to tolerate carnage on the ground (or closer to it). More astronauts have died in aircraft accidents than spacecraft accidents.