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by nocturnes 545 days ago
One useful trick is to treat each conversation as a game in which you have to discover the most interesting thing about the other person. Often, a conversation partner that seems boring is reserved, shy, or waiting for a social signal that it's okay to deviate from the topics you've listed (which can provide an 'in' to the really interesting stuff).
2 comments

This is so interesting! I had this experience just a few weeks ago at a restaurant with a group of people where I talked about the most introverted and extroverted in the group, with another person who seemed to be introverted and that got them interested in talking a lot more just with me. It was so much more fun than listening to the 2 other loud people in the group.
There are 8 billion people whose "things" I am not interested in discovering. Why would I be interested in a random person's things just because they happened to be physically proximate?
Because "things" are interconnected. There's not just one definition of Thing, whatever your thing might be. There's your perspective on Thing, and there's other peoples' perspective on Thing. So, whatever it is, Thing is not something that you can understand in solitude.

Understanding it means understanding both your perspective on it, and other peoples' perspective on it, at the same time. That's most peoples' reason for wanting to interact with random people. They see it as an opportunity to refine their understanding of Thing, whatever it might be.

How do you know you're not interested in it when you don't know what it is?
I don't know but I can give a rough estimate, based on my experience. The estimate equals 0.42%.
Alex? :p

I'm sure not, but fun to imagine this written by someone I know.

Beware small sample sizes