[nickpsecurity]

That was a great article. It highlights many things I routinely hear in church about how God works through families. They and the books we read talk about how children are a gift that humbles us, starts transforming our character, and teaches us a lot. God uses children in big ways.

Recently, we’ve been reading Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes. Today we’re to discuss the chapter on Fatherhood. I was happy to see the author had learned a few of these lessons. Here’s a few for those interested.

Do’s include investing time in them, speaking tenderly, teaching them, setting an example, discipline where necessary, and especially praying for them. If they have Christ, and God intervenes for them, many situations day to day work out better than if left purely to human nature. My friends strongly attest to this with many examples.

Don’t included too much criticism (or too little praise), excessive strictness, irritability (esp “been at work all day!”), inconsistency, and favoritism. He gives examples of each hurting relationships between fathers and sons.

I thought those were a nice start. Character of Christ, putting the children first (love), and some specific tips. Lastly, we can be calm knowing God is in control of every step of our future. He just expects us to act on what we’ve learned a day at a time. He’ll only let happen what needs to happen for His plan for our lives and our kids’ lives. That’s comforting.

[anonu]

I think your comment is additive to the conversation, despite it not agreeing with the core HN cohort. Not worth downvoting IMO.

[hooverd]

As someone who used to work with a children's hospital (on the EMR site but still) I wish we could find and kill the asshole who decided a myriad of childhood cancers was in their grand plan.

[mistermann]

Do you believe that to be optimal gameplay?

[nickpsecurity]

You can save over ten million children from murder if you raise support to ban abortion. Cancer is horrible, too. People following Christ built many hospitals, orphanages, recovery programs, and places like Life Choices Memphis to do what we can for them.

You show two, common views: God owes us something; no gratitude.

God is a sovereign being who can do what He wants with His creation like you do with your possessions. If we always choose evil, He owes us nothing but wrath. Yet, people expect God of all creation to come down, drop on His knees to kiss their feet, and do an entire list of things to please them and earn their respect. What arrogance!

In fact, His lovingkindness and mercies are on everything He’s made. He gives the gift of children to many people, gives medical treatment for cancers that human activities (eg chemicals/food/stress) are likely causing, and all the good things in our lives. Gor protects so many children that there’s almost ten billion people on Earth.

So, people show up on Hacker News grateful for all God has given them: children, our daily lives, and even good submissions here. Nope! Maybe you thank Him for protecting billions of lives or motivating tens of billions in charity. Nope! Instead, people act like He doesn’t exist, censor the Gospel in media, curse His name in movies, and accuse Him on HN with no credit for any positive things.

God must love us to keep letting us live, healing our kids, etc. While we were still sinners (God’s enemies), Christ died for us so we’d get a second chance. You should repent of the evil in your heart. Once you meet God, you may thank Him for all He does for you instead of curse Him. Especially for the gift of eternal life.

[vivi_]

Why are you doing this?

Friendly reminder that this is HackerNews; nobody is here (nor cares) to read your incoherent, unwelcome religious preach nor to argue religion - at all. That is not the topic of the article, there is nothing to do with religion in the article yet you feel it is your duty to solicit your irrelevant and frankly offensive religious beliefs onto others.

I don't spew atheist thought unto christianforums.com - though if I did I'm certain there would be be pitchforks, unchallenged hypocrisy is one of religions most potent weapons.

Also, I'm assuming you do not possess the physical configuration to give birth to a child so lay hands off her body, it's not your f*cking life. If you are indeed capable of birthing a child, forgive me - I hear y'all good at that.

One last question: is your zealotry the reason behind your lobste.rs ban last year by pushcx?

> Even supposedly friendly bigotry is unwelcome.

Maybe don't pray on us, cool?

Thanks!

edit: spelling

[throw10920]

Your comments repeatedly and blatantly violate the HN guidelines (which you can read here https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html) as well as being incredibly vicious and hateful. You seem to be new to HN - this is not Reddit. You shouldn't do this here.

Your hypocrisy and hateful tone also further serve to legitimize nickpsecurity's points - he is the one preaching religion, but in a very kind and respectful tone despite your vitriol and hypocrisy.

You also demonstrate a shocking lack of ability to use logic, and a lack of awareness of what the poster's points or ideology actually are, in addition to the above malice. More than even a tone problem - your comment is just completely and entirely unsuitable for HN and beyond providing zero value provides negative value. Please don't do this here.

[mistermann]

> Friendly reminder that this is HackerNews; nobody is here (nor cares) to read your incoherent, unwelcome religious preach nor to argue religion - at all.

Be careful, Faith comes in many forms, and in many metaphysical frameworks (science, as one example).

[vivi_]

Faith != religion

I have faith in the mathematical probability that you will reply - 66.6% Nobody told me to do that, but I have faith!

Do be careful, religion also divides countries, separates families and inherently promotes inequality by categorizing human beings into troughs to be tagged, labelled and consumed.

[mistermann]

Do you have Faith that the sensation that you can read minds at scale is genuine?

I do not need a lecture on religion or rationality from you, thanks. It is Your Kind that keeps these habits going strong, not mine.

[nickpsecurity]

We do it because we love Christ and love other people. We also enjoy meeting them, sharing our experiences, and so on. In this case, I saw a father writing enthusiastically about the wonders of children and fatherhood. I shared with him another perspective on it, the ability to have God in his life, and some advice from someone who thought similar to him. Just friendly discussion at that point.

Most of my work here in Mississippi is like that. I talk to a lot of people about many topics, including their faith (or atheism). While many avoid the topic, those that discuss it mostly speak their mind, we listen, share our views in love, sometimes debate, and walk away with mutual respect. Some react harshly but most are pleasant. I learn plenty from them, too.

Then, there’s other areas with a different culture. They discuss all kinds of topics, even religion, allowing many views in posts or comments. The second a Christian shows up, they’re met with dismissal, mockery, personal attacks, and censorship (eg downvotes). It’s usually multiple people showing up as a mob.

At least one always claims to speak for everyone in the place or the world or a race or gender but don’t actually represent most or all views. In some places, they try to eject opponents or get them fired. Unlike Jesus Christ and His followers, this group usually has no love for their outgroup, no forgiveness for perceived wrongs, their own beliefs are inconsistent over time, and never did miracles (no power).

(Note: The best description I have so far are Western Progressives into intersectionality. Especially who went to colleges dominated by those ideologies which passed them on. Outside this group, I basically never run into the patterns I described.)

As you pointed out, that was the case on Lobsters. It was a low-noise, tech site. The social justice crowd demanded in meta threads that they could inject politics, their agenda, into every thread. However, anything opposing their beliefs was hate speech, harassment, “exterminist,” etc. Once favored, they mobbed their opponents, downvoted them, and tried to get them banned. I was banned.

The worst part was selective deletion of civil comments, but leaving horrible accusations, that makes future readers think that’s what the deleted comment said. Progressive liberals revise history to make them look better and opponents look worse which is what they accuse others of. I do thank pushcx for otherwise being a great moderator. Also, for crediting that I was kind to the mob in the last debate.

Even there, I received private messages and emails from opponents saying what happened was unfair to me, non-Progressives thanking me for speaking up, and Christian’s saying they don’t identify as Christians there to avoid mistreatment.

Back to HN, there’s clearly some hardcore people in specific ideologies who use similar tactics. However, the majority of Hacker News are more open-minded and civil. They like learning others’ perspectives. The rare few who mob on me don’t scare me since I wear the armor of God. I just respond peacefully and helpfully. You had a question, too.

Re not my body and no hands on “her” body

That’s three misconceptions: only her body; man’s view; only woman has a right to an opinion.

First, a pregnant woman has a baby growing inside them. It’s their body and another person’s body. We respect both. We apply the right to life, to safety, and so on to the baby’s body, too. Like with adults, we’re morally consistent by not allowing people to murder inconvenient dependents.

Second, even Progressives and non-Christians often support giving the helpless a voice. Protection, too. We also do that for babies that many don’t care about.

Other ministries exist that interview or are made up of people who would’ve been aborted. They changed their mind or it failed or something. In all cases I’ve heard, they were glad their mothers didn’t or couldn’t murder them. One was my best friend, a smart guy, who doctors said would be a vegetable. I thank God his mother listened to Him, not them.

Third, there’s a myth that you might be referencing that Christianity or protecting children in the womb is men’s belief forced on women. The first witnesses to Christ’s resurrection were women, most Christians are women IIRC, they spread it the most (esp to children), and they think God’s Word is the best thing for women. I feel I must speak up for half a billion women that some segments, like Progressives or feminists, often mock or censor. We should listen to those women.

Finally, people in Life Choices Memphis discovered another lie in many scenarios: Progressives care about what women want. Women going to abortion clinics sometimes allowed interviews. The vast majority were undecided on abortion but were pressured to do it. From their boyfriend to parents to liberal media to the clinic itself, everyone was telling them killing the child was the right thing. Those women who were asked what they thought, esp if having ultrasound or hearing heartbeat, kept the baby in many cases. Pressuring women to kill a child isn't caring for the woman or the child.

I never knew any of that as a liberal atheist. I wasn’t allowed to because specific segments in control of media and college forced those beliefs out where I never heard them. Eventually, I experienced a miracle (see GetHisWord.com) with events sending me to Christ. Outside of Plato’s Cave, I learned things I never knew which make sense and actually get good results. I’m happy to share the gift with others.

[throwanem]

Thank God I left Mississippi.

[vivi_]

So after you force a woman to give birth to an unwanted baby y'all Christians take care of both of them right?

I'm sorry but prayers aren't valid tender and cannot be exchanged for tangible necessities like food and shelter, it's almost 2025, we should be well past this.

Here's a real fun exercise you can try yourself - you'll need :

* A couple dollars

* Prayers

Now I want you to go to the grocery store and try to buy a loaf of bread with prayers, use the really good juicy ones!

Okay next, I want you to then repeat the same experiment but instead of prayers, use dollars.

See which one keeps you alive longer...

> only woman has a right to an opinion

I see what you did there, sneaky and typical christpilled behaviour. When it comes to women's rights, yes, it is one hundred percent their call. full stop.

Here's another fun one - go visit Africa and check the great work missionaries are doing spreading reprehensible speech that condoms are sacrilege and you can pray the AIDS away... do you see how harmful this is?

> Paper bills only in the collection plate folks, coins disrupt the service...

[lobster-roll]

I came to this post because it was about working on a project with your son—about fatherhood—and then I noticed someone had brought up lobsters. That reminded me of a day my son and I had planned for weeks: just the two of us, cooking lobsters over the firepit in the backyard. It was the kind of day where the process mattered as much as the meal. The fire crackled warmly as we salted the pot, the sun glinting off the shells of the lobsters we’d picked out that morning.

Then Larry, my brother-in-law, arrived.

Larry wasn’t exactly unwelcome. He had a knack for showing up unannounced, but most of the time, we didn’t mind. He’s a guy full of ideas and energy, and that can be great—just not always at the right time. His real challenge is understanding when the moment isn’t about him or his latest fixation. Today, it was marshmallows.

“You’re boiling lobsters?” Larry asked, strolling over with a bag of marshmallows dangling from one hand. His tone wasn’t accusatory, exactly—more like he’d stumbled upon a golden opportunity that we somehow hadn’t noticed.

“Yep,” I said, turning a lobster in the pot to make sure it cooked evenly. “It’s our thing. Lobster boil Sunday.”

Larry nodded, but he wasn’t listening. He was already holding up the bag of marshmallows like they were the answer to a question no one had asked. “You know what would really make this fun? Roasting these bad boys over the fire. Quick, easy, no mess. You get that perfect golden crust and—bam!—instant crowd-pleaser.”

I glanced at my son, who was tending the fire with the focus of someone trying very hard not to roll his eyes.

“We’re good, Larry,” I said. “We’ve got our lobsters, our butter, our lemon. That’s all we need.”

But Larry wasn’t done. “I get it,” he said, with the tone of someone who clearly didn’t get it. “You’ve got your little setup here. It’s cute. But marshmallows? Way simpler. And honestly, they’re just more fun. No one has to deal with… you know, lobsters. You ever think about how much work those things are?”

My son looked up at me, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Do you even like lobster, Larry?” he asked.

Larry shrugged, already rummaging for sticks to skewer his marshmallows. “It’s not about what I like,” he said. “It’s about what’s… practical. You know, sometimes people get so stuck on their thing that they don’t see how much easier it could be.”

I took a deep breath, stirring the pot as the lobsters turned that bright, unmistakable red. “Larry, this isn’t about easy. It’s about the process. We like doing it this way.”

“Oh, sure, sure,” he said, his tone dripping with doubt. “But still, I think you’re missing out.” He waved a marshmallow-laden stick at us like a torch of wisdom. “These are the way to go. You’ll see.”

We didn’t.

My son and I turned back to our lobsters—cracking claws, dipping the meat into butter, savoring every bite. Larry sat to the side, roasting marshmallows in silence, looking vaguely put out that we hadn’t joined his impromptu campfire crusade.

When we’d finished, my son leaned back and sighed. “Best lobster yet,” he said with a grin.

I nodded, smiling. Larry watched us for a moment before finally saying, “You know, you could have had marshmallows and lobster.”

“Maybe next time,” I said, though we both knew there wouldn’t be a next time for that particular combination.

The thing about Larry—and people like him—isn’t that they’re wrong. Marshmallows are fine, in their place. But sometimes, the fire’s already lit for something else. Not every moment needs to be reimagined, repurposed, or improved upon. Sometimes, it’s enough to just cook lobsters with your son and enjoy what’s already there.

[aliasxneo]

I was gonna say you must be new to HN, but it appears you’re not. I assumed the anti-Christian sentiment had finally driven most Christians away from here.

[genghisjahn]

I’ve been here for a bit and I’m a Christian. Pain and suffering are difficult to rationalize with the whole “God only gives you want you can handle stuff.” It’s not comforting. Bad things happen to Christians all the time. I try to ease suffering no matter who it happens to. It does help me to remember that Jesus suffered too.

I’d say more but my son is saying “play with me” over and over. Take care ya’ll.

[isoprophlex]

If you want to prosetylize, go hand out flyers in a shopping mall or whatever...

[mistermann]

Do the HN guidelines explicitly outlaw proselytization of specific metaphysical frameworks? Because there is more than one person engaged in the activity.