[mindcrime]

Oh, boy. I never expected my "Maserati and supermodel" comment[1] to be quoted in a reply on this topic. OK, just for anybody who didn't realize this before:

That was about 40% "literal truth about how I feel", about 30% "true but somewhat metaphorical" and about 30% "totally tongue in cheek." IOW, don't take it literally. My real point was that for some people - like me - criticism is something we use as fuel, and is actually valued in a sense.

[1]: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4108061

All of that said, I definitely appreciate this post on "how to get valid feedback." This is good stuff, and will definitely be filed away for use when the need arises.

[jessedhillon]

Even with your explanation, it doesn't seem that you got the point. Reacting to criticism with indignation and determination to defy the critic is also a less-than-mature response. Sure, on the one hand you need to have the vision and confidence in yourself to not get knocked off-center by naysayers.

But plugging your ears and going to your happy place (your supermodel having, Maserati driving future) when someone experienced is trying to give you feedback is, well... childish. If your co-founder or designer rolled their eyes and departed on a mental journey whenever you had tough feedback for them, you would be aggrvated to say the least, right? I hope you have higher standards for the people you work with.

That's all Josh is saying as well: he has standards for the people he wants to work with and one of them is to be permeable, not walled off. Anyone can ignore criticism or draw motivation from the need to be proven right. It's harder to suspend your own ideas for a moment and hear that someone experienced thinks you're missing something.

[mindcrime]

But plugging your ears and going to your happy place (your supermodel having, Maserati driving future) when someone experienced is trying to give you feedback is, well... childish. If your co-founder or designer rolled their eyes and departed on a mental journey whenever you had tough feedback for them, you would be aggrvated to say the least, right? I hope you have higher standards for the people you work with.

I would make a distinction between "criticism" and "feedback," although I'll allow that it's a subtle (and subjective) thing. But my point isn't to react this way to all (feedback|criticism), but rather to the kind that amounts to nothing more than "you're not good enough."

A fair amount of context has gotten lost since I posted that quote originally, and I probably didn't make that point clearly enough to begin with... but I'm not promoting the idea of reacting with "indignation and determination" to constructive, actionable feedback.

So, if hypothetical VC Joe says "We aren't funding you because you guys aren't good enough" then yes, my POV is (earlier disclaimer in mind) very much the whole "fuck you, I'll show you, blah, blah" thing. But if Joe VC says "We aren't funding you because your team is too tech heavy, and we feel like you need a good sales/marketing person before you're fundable" then that's a whole different thing. That's positive, actionable, useful feedback.

It's harder to suspend your own ideas for a moment and hear that someone experienced thinks you're missing something.

Right, and I never meant to suggest otherwise.

[jbreinlinger]

I loved the quote though, just had to use it. I scanned all of the comments from the original post and the "Maserati" one was my hands-down favorite. :)

[mindcrime]

I scanned all of the comments from the original post and the "Maserati" one was my hands-down favorite.

Cool, glad you found it useful. The reactions were fairly mixed, and I think a lot of people in the original post took it a bit too literally. It's all good though.