[Rendello]

I have a friend, Mai (let's say), who's from Japan (and is as terrified as I am at the country's work culture). She texted her high school friend who's still there and working in an office, day-in and day-out, and Mai asked her if she's hanging out or talking to any of her old friends. The friend said "You're my friend Mai :) I only talk with you".

She only sends her a text on Christmas and her birthday, that's the extent of their yearly interaction!

[makeitdouble]

I also anecdotaly know a number of people in that bucket. I don't know for your friend, but for many it comes down to not caring that much about having "friends".

They will prioritize their hobbies over basically anything, including socialization (they can still socialize inside their hobby group, but they might not be "friends" in the traditional way)

I'd see it as the same line of thinking as DINK, except with a single income and no fucks given about romantic relationships. Of course the situation could be different if they were super affluent, but as they have to prioritize they choose what makes them happy regardless of social norms.

[Rendello]

Fair enough, I like having friends but have a hard time figuring out when to fit them into my schedule.

In this case, I know my friend's friend talked about constant overtime and not having a life outside of the office.

I sent Mai this video of the crazy day-in-the-life of a salaryman in Japan [1], and we both felt it was crazy, but she said "I actually think he likes it". Some people are cut out for overtime every day but I know I'd go crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tmjXp_AYg0

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Unrelated, but I (sort of) wish English had an obviative case. It's hard to give a story about a friend and their friend of the same gender in English without ambiguity, hence why I gave [person 1] a name.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obviative

[apt-apt-apt-apt]

Good to know about the obviative case, that there's a name for these type of things.

When writing docs in code recently, it struck me as a little odd that pronouns can be used as a shorthand when referring to a singular and a plural, but can't be if they have the same plurality.

E.g. "When the name and errors exist, and it is non-empty and they are capitalized, ..."

[Rendello]

Speaking of Japanese, I learned from that friend that they don't use 2nd or 3rd person pronouns that much at all, preferring to repeat the person's name. For third person it's strange to my ears, but it was very surprising to hear my name repeated in second person!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_pronouns

[makeitdouble]

Yes. 2nd and 3rd pronouns tend to be harder to use in social contexts.

You usually convey a bunch of info and intent when referring to someone (how close you're to that person and their social position relative to you), and pronouns don't easily cover that range. It can be done but requires more finesse.

That's perhaps why pronouns are so tainted (You=anata has become the most stereotypical way to call one's husband)

The better choice is usually to omit the subject and just imply who you're talking about. Using their name is the second best alternative.