[Karupan]

I dread the day I have to eat at US restaurants, or even get something delivered. Part of the reason is cultural: I’ve never lived in a country where a tip is mandatory and you’ll be called out if you don’t. The other reason being it involves a degree of social pressure and shame, if one doesn’t tip enough. Both don’t sit well with me.

But I can attest that if I’m forced to tip, I’ll not return to that establishment.

[woodruffw]

In my experience, it's uncommon to be called out for not leaving a tip, at least on the East Coast of the US. At worst, you might get a nasty look depending on the context (unlikely at a cafe, maybe at a nice restaurant with good service).

[Der_Einzige]

You run the risk of people spitting in your food if they recognize you when you return.

[wiml]

If they'll spit in your food for not leaving a tip, they'll probably spit in your food for other reasons as well. Best to simply avoid those places.

[woodruffw]

Why do you think that's even remotely common?

[BurningFrog]

I also used to be nervous about this, but it's really not complicated when you know how.

Just add 15% to the price. If you pay with credit card, you just write it on the field on the receipt. No words need to be said.

[anal_reactor]

Exactly why I'll never visit twice any establishment that asks me for a tip. If I ever go eat in a restaurant, it's because I want to have less stress in my life, not because I want to put myself in a shitty situation where not only I need to be up to date with current social norms (which has always been a difficulty of mine), but I also need to do things that go against my beliefs (tipping is a scam akin to TicketMaster "€100 ticket + €20 shipping fee + €30 convenience fee + €35 what are you going to do about this fee + €15 fee won't make a difference = €200 vs advertised €100"). As a result, whenever I visit a restaurant, the thing I remember the most is not the food nor the ambience, but the moment of tipping when the waiter begs me for a tip like a Syrian refugee begs for water. This is not a problem in my country because thankfully begging isn't as common here, but when I was travelling I was once asked for a tip during a hotel breakfast, which BTW was shitty.

Also, tipping is a monument to human stupidity. Apparently, people would rather pay €10 + 20% tip than €12 with no tip, because the former feels cheaper, even though it's a stupid way to organize pricing.

[qingcharles]

I've lived here for a long time, but this stuff still gives me anxiety. I get you are supposed to tip in restaurants, but I'm unsure which other services need tipping. Is it required to tip, for instance, the HVAC repairman? Are you supposed to tip mechanics? Do native Americans have a spidey sense for which people need tipping that I just need to become sensitized to?

[dqv]

Any luxury service (consensus determines what a luxury is in this case, not the individual) that is personalized, intimate, and requires spending a lot of time with you would carry the expectation that you tip. HVAC is seen as a necessity in the US, the same with cars, and the same with medical care. Tipping wouldn't be expected in those instances.

The only situation where there is an unwritten expectation for a tip is at a sit-down restaurant with waitstaff and for food/grocery delivery. These are luxuries 99% of the time.

In all other cases that I know of, they will ask you outright if you want to tip. For example, when I get a haircut or a massage, they ask me explicitly if I want to tip, and, because it was a personalized, intimate, luxury service, I oblige. For simple walk-up services like coffee or take out, I wouldn't tip.

The only other times I tip are for exceptional service (e.g. in a fastfood drive through) or if it's a local business that I'm fond of.

[StanislavPetrov]

>The other reason being it involves a degree of social pressure and shame, if one doesn’t tip enough.

It's standard to tip 15% for decent service in a restaurant(sans win). You are of course free to tip more for good service or less for crappy service, but unless your experience is truly exceptional (in either a good or bad way) you can never go wrong with 15%. This is standard any US restaurant where you sit down and are served by a waiter or waitress. You are never "forced to tip", but you will be universally looked down upon in any sit-down establishment that you fail to tip in, so you might be best off not returning.

[jghn]

> It's standard to tip 15% for decent service in a restaurant

This is not true, and hasn't been for some time [1]

[1] https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Average-reported-tip-rat...

[StanislavPetrov]

The last metric in this 2017 study, before the pandemic, showed tipping was between 18% and 19% in, "surveys (that) are aimed at diners who patronize full-service midscale and upscale restaurants". It also shows a downward trend in the last few data points. All things considered, including diners who patronize "downscale" full-service restaurants (like diners), and given the many decades-long standard of 15% tips, it seems to me a safe standard to continue to use. Certainly no foreign visitor will ever face vitriol for tipping 15%.

[jghn]

> the many decades-long standard of 15% tips

The 15% standard supplanted the previous 10% standard somewhere in the 1970s and lasted to the early/mid-aughts depending on where in the US one lived. I don't agree that ~30 years is "many decades-long". Further, that 15% itself was an uptick from the prior standard demonstrates that we're dealing with a moving target, for better or worse.

[HDThoreaun]

Depends on the state since some are increasing base tipped wage. In california tipped workers get $15/hr plus tips so many have decreased tip to 15%

[ac29]

CA minimum wage is currently $16/hr, and higher for fast food workers (though those are often untipped jobs).

[jltsiren]

I'm also from a culture where tipping doesn't happen. I've been living in the US for a number of years, and I rarely go to a restaurant here, because the experience is too awkward.

On the other hand, I find delivery services quite reasonable. They tell me the total price (including the expected tip) before I order. You rarely see that kind of honesty in an actual restaurant. And I don't have to see the person I tip, which makes the experience much less awkward.

[acchow]

It's a broken system but it will never go away since tips are tax-advantaged (there's no sales tax on the tip).

The mental block can be helped a little by adding 1/3rd to all the menu prices as you read them.

[sgc]

Speaking for myself, it is not a mental block, it is disgust with the social design of tip culture. Including tips, waiters are better paid than teachers, and many other more essential professions that require higher qualifications. The pressure is disproportionate to their financial situation. Let's normalize paying everybody what they are worth and do away with the tortuous guilt trips.

To be clear, I am promoting eliminating tips, and paying everybody in the lower 90% of wage earners more for their work. I have no interest in shortchanging waiters.

[dataflow]

> tips are tax-advantaged (there's no sales tax on the tip)

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but the bigger tax that's avoided here is corporate taxes, I think. The tip goes directly to the employee, and it's thus not taxed as corporate income, is my understanding.

EDIT: Ah, I missed that corporate taxes were on net earnings rather than gross, so this wouldn't make any difference. Thank you!

[atmavatar]

The primary corporate advantages to tips is they allow the business to display artificially low prices to customers (since they don't include the tip) and pay artificially low wages to employees (tipped jobs have a lower minimum wage).

[ac29]

> tipped jobs have a lower minimum wage

This isnt true in Alaska, California, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, or Washington.

And in the states where it is true, the employee is still required to be paid at least the full minimum wage inclusive of tips.

[hattmall]

No wages are deducted so they don't pay income taxes on them anyway.