[theclansman]

That's actually not that easy to do when people are expected to be living alone at a certain age. Finding a partner could be good for you but that's also not so simple. I think most people would prefer hanging out with others rather than scrolling tik tok (you might enjoy alone activities but tik tok scrolling comes out of boredom), but sometimes they have no choice. It's like the way we live is pointing us specifically in that direction, at least by default.

[InsideOutSanta]

You don't need to be in a relationship to hang out with people. I think the issue most people encounter is that hanging out with friends suddenly gets a lot more difficult after education ends. The people you meet at work are less likely to become close friends than the people you meet at school, and as people get older, they have more responsibilities that take up their spare time, and fewer options to just spontaneously hang out.

In addition, traditionally, men tend to rely on their partner for non-professional social networking. The percentage of people who live with a spouse or partner seems to be decreasing, so men are becoming more responsible for maintaining their own circle of friends.

This requires effort. It's not like when you're 18 and you just naturally hang out, you have to put work into maintaining friendships and finding ways to meet. You have to plan things and invite people. You also have to make new friends as old ones disappear from your life over time. This is difficult, it requires conscious effort.

I didn't realize that for a long time, and the longer I didn't do it, the harder it became to reestablish old friendships and make new ones. But it's absolutely possible to do it, if you put in the effort.

And it's very worthwhile. It's much more enjoyable and fulfilling and relaxing to cook with somebody, go for a walk, or play Mario Kart in person, than to scroll Instagram or play an online shooter.

[HappMacDonald]

> I think most people would prefer hanging out with others rather than scrolling tik tok

However both introversion and the hedgehog's dilemma can complicate this presumption. I think I'd rather say that most people would prefer hanging out with others in some fashion where they are safe from constant drama .. but the reality is that getting along with other people — including close friends and perhaps especially family members — takes a lot of effort and emotional labor.

With our current ubercapitalist society (definitely in the US but it affects the rest of the globe as well) and poor social understanding of mental health, many of us simply lack the resources to constantly expend said emotional labor and connections often fall away as a result.

Thus the mass of terminally online people.

[thaumasiotes]

> I think I'd rather say that most people would prefer hanging out with others in some fashion where they are safe from constant drama .. but the reality is that getting along with other people — including close friends and perhaps especially family members — takes a lot of effort and emotional labor.

Counterpoint: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA0PwmQMVG8