Ask HN: Counter-Offer Woes

[leinkasorafkt]

I got a new job offer that was a little less (about 5%) than my current salary. I already earn about 20% more than the median in my field/sector/age bracket.

Not exactly sure why I opted to apply, because it would be a step down "career"-wise. It would be a comfortable job where I'd know the ins- and outs of everything, but it'd probably offer few opportunities to really grow beyond that. More of an "ops" role and my current role is very much "dev"/idea guy/experiential and integrations oriented.

Asked my boss 6mo ago if I could get a $5k raise as an "ad hoc" thing. I wasn't exactly turned down, but it felt like I would have to make a huge effort to bag that - maybe that was why I went looking.

I handed in my notice with heavy heart and was really surprised by the reaction I got. Instant phone call with a 25% salary increase counter-offer and promises of a more "experimental" role, basically a free pass to be creative, try new tech etc.

These past two weeks they've tried to retain me and taken me to lunches, coffee walks- and talks, and overall been way nicer/more attentive than usual.

I know counter-offers are a mixed bag in the US, but in Europe I feel that they usually represent a true expression that the employer wants to keep someone - or at the very least that it'd be very inconvenient to lose that particular someone at this point in time. I could be wrong.

Since this is an employer I've been with for many years - my first job in fact - I was actually really emotional when I sent the resignation letter.

Now I'm worried that I'm burning bridges with the new place and scared of calling them to rescind my acceptance. They can't match the counter-offer whatsoever and it'd be an inordinate amount of overtime and late nights to get to that same level monetarily. Not sure I have that in me anymore.

I don't really have a question per se. The logical thing is to accept the counter-offer. In this case I'd both be learning and earning, for an employer that now has a more invested stake in me.

Are moral qualms like this normal?

Are employers forgiving of reneging on an already signed contract? My start date is almost 5 months from now.

Is it normal to feel bad for getting more money all the while thinking that I'm at an all-time-low in terms of providing value day-to-day? It's almost as if I deserved this salary more when I was 15 years younger and worked way harder, and that my current "senior" self deserves my starting salary 15 years ago.

[ksaj]

You may very well get more out of, and put more into the couter-offered position. It would suck to work 5 months knowing you're leaving a company that values you this much, and willing to pay extra to keep you on board and happy again.

To my mind, moving onto the new contract would be a mistake. You don't even know if that'll work out. You know that the counter offer will.

[leinkasorafkt]

Thank you,

I agree that it'd be absolutely gruelling if I were to walk into the new office 5 months from now and realize it was a terrible mistake. The counter offer is a sure thing and has better TC.

[bcx]

A few questions:

1) How do you know the new place can’t match the counter offer?

2) why do you think the folks who hired you for less than your current salary would not understand sticking at your current job for 25% more and a role change?

3) if you took the raise/counter and it wasn’t fulfilling would you be willing to take a job paying 30% less 1 year from now? Why or why not?

4) why did you want to work at the other company you just signed and offer letter for?

We’ve lost candidates after their current employer drastically increased their salary. It happens, normally before an offer letter is signed.

[leinkasorafkt]

1) They were already "overextending" their generosity when I got the 95% offer of my current pay and they said that was as much I could realistically get

It does not bode well for future pay rises to be honest, but it felt somewhat good that they went beyond what one normally would get for me personally.

2) Not sure, I myself have always had sympathy with others if they were leaving a job, or understood if they decided to not join on account of a great counter-offer. This is probably easier as an IC. Feels bad to taint oneself on account of money, but it's the entire package that's enticing now, not just the extra take-home pay every month.

3) If I was sure it'd be fulfilling I think I could make do with 30% less. Right now I can do normal weeks (9-5 every day) and work at a leisurely pace and sometimes from a home office.

4) It would have been a comfortable job where I could probably make do for 10 years into the future without really expanding my horizons. That does sound scary though, at some point being 50 and knowing I missed out on a "better" career.