[sdlkj-]

Hah, appreciate the response. Being able to stay out the drama is nice - though I do find my self sometimes craving the support structures and sense of belonging that these cliques provide. Especially when at work all I hear around me is Mandarin or Hindi, in the hallways, at lunch, essentially in any context except full-on work meetings where it almost feels like they're _forced_ to speak English for me.

[profsummergig]

My 0.02 cents on this issue: it is terribly rude to speak Mandarin or Hindi, when in a mixed group setting at work, in the USA. Be happy you didn't become one of these rude people. Support structures... I get it. It does help to have a sort of extended-family sometimes. Here's what I've found helpful: get into an activity where such support structures organically form. And you can have the support structure without attendant ethno-centric drama and politics.

There are also downsides to being in these ethnocentric cliques. Know the crabs in a bucket effect, and the saying about how you can't become a prophet in your own town. There's a strong anchoring effect your own people have regarding you. When they see you rising up, they wonder why you're succeeding and they're not, and try to drag you down (instead of celebrating your rise). There's a strong hierarchy within these cliques, and you're not supposed to break-out of your "correct position" in the hierarchy.

Also, if it helps to know this: I have relatives who are thick in the middle of their Indian cliques. What do they do when they're not with their clique-members? Trash-talk about them.

[sdlkj-]

I appreciate the response, and it does indeed help. Maybe I'm not missing out on much after all.

The activity is good advice. Some of my closest friends I've meet though hobbies I enjoyed - I'll just need to apply the same strategy, though it definitely feels tougher to do without having school as a crutch to force socializing.

[written-beyond]

Sounds like an excellent opportunity to learn mandarin.