[lmm]

That's what the old men shouting at clouds always think.

"Social connection" and "micro-dopamine hits" are two different phrases for the same thing. Connections through social media apps can be every bit as deep and genuine as those made through standing in the same building.

[teractiveodular]

It's not particularly deep and genuine to double-tap to add a heart emoji to a video of a skimpily dressed complete stranger you "met" 5 seconds ago and will never see again unless Tiktok's algorithms think that would result in greater ad revenue.

[lmm]

It's exactly as deep and genuine as saying hi to a stranger in a bar (and if you think the barman is any less profit-oriented than the Tiktok algorithm you're naive) or whatever the back-in-your-day paradigm was.

[teractiveodular]

If you say hi to a stranger in a bar, you might end up in an interesting conversation, get laid, find a life partner, all sorts of things.

Liking a booty shake video from some thirst trap influencer is exceedingly unlikely to result in any of these.

[lmm]

Liking a video (and if all your videos are booty shakes from first trap influencers that says more about you than about the platform) might end you up in an interesting conversation, getting laid, finding a life partner, all sorts of things.

Saying hi to a stranger in a bar is exceedingly unlikely to result in any of these.

[lesostep]

counterpoint: in any given bar interacting with a stranger means this stranger is interacting with you. If the stranger is tapping out, then you are free to go interact with other people. 1:1 interacters to interactee ratio.

In any given social network this ratio is very screwed. Most people have to became interacters at least a couple of times before they can become an interactee.

[tivert]

> Liking a video ... might end you up in an interesting conversation, getting laid, finding a life partner, all sorts of things.

How? Give an example that actually happened. If you can, address the relative likelihood vs. in-person contact.

[bowsamic]

What? I’m sorry but this is just nonsense. There’s no way liking a video is more likely to result in those things than having a face to face interaction so someone

[stephenbez]

I met a friend of a friend in a bar last week. He just ran the NYC marathon and some girl he barely knew but thought was cute liked his Instagram photo. He decided to shoot his shot, and asked her to drinks and she accepted.

There is a reason people “sliding into the DMs” is a term. It usually starts with liking posts and later moves into DMs. That same guy also showed me that he also slid into the DMs with some other woman and has another first date scheduled.

Social media is super important for the younger generation and their social life.

[lmm]

A shallow interaction is unlikely to lead to something deeper but occasionally things line up and it becomes the start of a beautiful friendship. That's equally true on social media or AFK.

Maybe introducing yourself in-person is slightly deeper than thumbs-upping someone's video, but by the same token the latter is a smaller step; you can always go with a full-sentence comment or a video response of your own if you want the slightly deeper interaction.

[johnnyanmac]

I mean. I can't small talk to save my life. But saying high to a stranger will at least get me 10 seconds of communication unless they are excessively rude (or you are). That's not going to happen on modern social media.

Someone much more charismatic in the right scene certainly can do such things more consistently. What's the equivalent here, Tinder dates? I wonder which is more effective for that tip charismatic male? (it's no doubt women are wayyy more successful on dating apps. Too successful).

[kredd]

I’ve talked to hundreds of people at bars around the world, and although I don’t remember their names, I can recall general conversations with each of them. I can’t recall anything that I’ve tapped-liked off the top of my head, because it’s very short and one-sided interaction.

[devilbunny]

Well, saying hi isn't deep at some meat market bar. But I remember in my younger days that my now-wife and I went to the same bar often enough that we knew most of the regulars, and she was talking to someone we knew well, so I was on my own.

I chatted up a woman who was probably 20 years my senior, and the two of us had grown up in the same neighborhood in that city separated only by time. We had a wonderful conversation for an hour or so. My now-wife came over at one point, I said we were having a conversation about my neighborhood, and she said, oh, you people always find each other (it was pretty distinctive in the city, and yes, we really did find each other). Now-wife walked away and went back to the others she had been hanging out with. I knew the exact house this woman had grown up in (it was one block away from where I was living at the time), having ridden my bicycle past it hundreds of times as a kid, and just listened to the stories of what it had been like then.

The bartender played no role in it at all.

You won't have that experience on TikTok.

[tivert]

> That's what the old men shouting at clouds always think.

And they're usually right. It's just that subsequent generations mainly see the new normal and forget.

> "Social connection" and "micro-dopamine hits" are two different phrases for the same thing.

No. It's like the difference between a piece of good chocolate cake and some sugar cubes.

> Connections through social media apps can be every bit as deep and genuine as those made through standing in the same building.

It's possible, but far less likely.

[watwut]

Except that TikTok dancing does not create those connections. It is just something that does not happen.

Standarding in the same building does not create then either. People talking in groups and one-to-one, people meeting the same people regularly does. That is what dancing was.

[lmm]

> Except that TikTok dancing does not create those connections. It is just something that does not happen.

I've seen it happen, so it absolutely can. People have back-and-forth interactions, find regular partners, and form dance groups.

[swiftcoder]

If you are talking about connections between people who both create content on the network, sure - however, the vast majority of users only consume content.

[lmm]

I've seen people start creating content because of a conversation they had on that kind of network.

[johnnyanmac]

Can be. But it's like a long distance relationship. We already know from decades of offline phenomenon that constant physical connect is a must for a healthy, strong connection. Yes, some people have the discipline to make it work. Most don't.

And that's been my experience online. Lots of neat niche connections with people I'd never meet IRL. But you'd be surprised how quickly that connect can sever when that person leaves the community, even if you keep trying to reach out.

But i don't know, maybe this gen Z figured out something this boomer Millenial and other older generations couldn't. I'm open to being wrong.