[detourdog]

I never mentioned lying. I believe the anxiety is from the confusion. I can understand how empathy can drive anxiety.

I have doubts that a person with imaginary self is capable of understanding another being well enough to be empathetic. I could perceive that the empathy the anxious one is declaring is a rationalization to enlist others in the promotion of the imaginary self.

Warning my only training in this area is life experience.

[numewhodis]

The imaginary self is the lie. And so is the perceived kinship. Empathy is liminal or a contract with conditions. "It's not the dogs fault" doesn't matter when he tries to rip off the finger-tip of a stranger who smelled like bad intentions. That's why people put dogs on leashes and or train them.

You are surrounded by people with imaginary selves, usually no more than one or two selves, so it's not really pathological and no cause for worry. And we all enlist others in the promotion of the in-group, which is an agreed upon imaginary construct we call collective.

And you are correct: most of 'them' have no empathy, most of them don't understand other beings well enough to be empathetic. Think productive people and hustlers and low earners who watch more TV than they learn after work.

But anyone understands their perceived kin. Even if the kinship breaks. Which brings me to

THE dominating and least perceived anxiety: will they betray me?

My partners, my colleagues, my wife, my customers, my boss, my government, the person I'm having a random conversation with, the producer of drug xyz, that salesman, my ISP, that news anchor and all of the individuals involved in those teams that make up departments and whole corporations and institutions. Will someone fuck up? All of that causes a build up of stress and, once the individual threshold is reached, anxiety.

But the average threshold is hard to reach because of defense mechanisms and compensations. Thus the amygdala gets trained and well nourished while the modulators loop through rollercoaster after rollercoaster.

[detourdog]

I can see the false self as a lie but I can also see it as misperception of other’s intentions.

Developing response from stimulus in one environment and blindly applying it in other circumstances I see as dysfunction.