[detourdog]

I’m emerging from a multi decade relationship where my partner’s anxiety was so extreme it got into my subconscious.

Once I dropped concerns for their anxiety over the course of a year I discovered my original personality. I felt this personality was slowly degrading as I tried to relieve my partner’s anxiety.

I feel young again.

[tartoran]

Empathy has second order side effects I guess. It's still better to be able to empathize than not. As a highly empathetic person myself, I had no choice but to dial it down as I got older. My first instinct at someones' misfortune is of course still one of empathy, but then I ask myself if there's anything I could do to help, if this person deserves it, though it could be an animal in pain. At this point, no matter what the answer is, the empathy signal is no longer useful, I turn it down all the way, think of something else, etc.