I think that the burden of this transition shouldn't be laid entirely on females: there are plenty of examples of plain misogynistic behaviour in the tech world - Loic linked one article on this in another thread (http://www.motherjones.com/media/2012/04/silicon-valley-brog...).
Lot of that is just sheer stupidity carried straight out of american college. I'm not sure how this culture came to be and why fraternities, sororities and such things are even tolerated. Nevermind. I'm just saying that you can't get acceptance by hiding. Gays weren't accepted at all till they became visible. More visibility, more acceptance. It's positive feedback loop but there have to be brave souls to start.