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by SapporoChris 601 days ago
Paraphrased, "I was driving home, stuck in traffic, and this thought occurred to me, now I know this is bad, but I thought, if half of everyone in this city died, I'd be home by now." - Paul Reiser
2 comments

When combined with "You aren't stuck in traffic, you are the traffic", the two quotes sum to "Go kill yourself."
Darker than mine, nice.
They'd need to specifically die in their own homes (or otherwise not on the roads), or else the resulting traffic jams would make your drive home even longer.