[adhd4k]

I was diagnosed with ADHD but I still think of myself as a lazy cunt. That probably doesn't help reputation either, I'm sure I project this belief outwards, even unintentionally. Other ADHD-afflicted individuals I've talked to about this report similar.

[brightmood]

My neurologist has a LOTS of patients. All of those with either Autism or ADHD / similar symptoms claim that they feel they don't get enough work done.

I start to believe that we are overly self-critical, and that the actual workers are having better ways of hiding their incompetence :D

[wahern]

If you felt satisfied with your productivity, why would you seek help? So there's definitely a selection bias there. Likewise for those whose "locus of control"[1] is biased toward external factors--i.e. you ascribe lack of success to factors outside yourself.

Similarly, AFAIU, time and energy spent in self-reflection also tends to positively correlate with neuroticism--e.g. feelings of guilt and inadequacy. If you're not high on self-reflection (there's a negative correlation with extroversion), you're less likely to experience negative self-esteem, at least in a conscious way.

I know ADHD correlates more strongly with some personality types than others, but by and large I believe people with ADHD (like everybody else) are spread across the spectrum along all these various axes, and it's only at some ends of certain axes that they're likely to seek assistance for themselves.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

[llamaLord]

> overly self-critical

IMO this relates heavily to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ND people's propensity to maximise negative self-perception and minimise positive.

[Aeolun]

Not working with too many people better than me has been terrible for my learning, but amazing for my self-confidence.

[GolfPopper]

I've been diagnosed, and both before and after, sheer terror of being seen that way has helped keep me generally productive at work for decades. But I run into something that seems related - I feel like a fraud, particularly when I get compliments or recognition at work. Yes, I am actually doing the work - it. But I know I could be far more effective if I could focus better. So I always feel like I'm only accomplishing a small fraction of what I could... and I expect people to realize that any moment now.

[wincy]

I had this happen at my last job. Got a new boss who was closer to the situation and ended up bouncing me over the course of a six month pip. I was so bored, and the hard problems always got taken by the same guy who they’d just hand stuff of to.

At my new job I interviewed into a promotion and am a team lead. My focus is always on whatever is the most challenging technical tasks. Once we finish building a product, someone else takes over maintenance and we get a new project. It’s fantastic because I’m always at the edge of what I know and writing brand new stuff, which I exactly what I love. I find this deeply satisfying and it helps rebuff that feeling of being a fraud. I definitely prefer to be a medium sized fish in a small pond (where I’m a pretty smart guy at a place that doesn’t necessarily need world class engineers) vs being a medium sized fish in a large pond.

The more boring my work is the worse I do at my job, and I’m lucky that in my position at this point I basically only focus on the novelties and intricacies of the most challenging tech problems the company has to offer.

[akovaski]

> I feel like a fraud, particularly when I get compliments or recognition at work. Yes, I am actually doing the work - it. But I know I could be far more effective if I could focus better. So I always feel like I'm only accomplishing a small fraction of what I could... and I expect people to realize that any moment now.

This is imposter syndrome[0]. Particularly feeling like a fraud, disassociation from compliments, and expecting people to find out you're a fraud. I think it's fairly common for some jobs/roles (software developers at Google, for example). I also think it's fairly common for people with ADHD.

You can still do more and do better (e.g. by better coping with your ADHD symptoms), that's normal and healthy to an extent. It's just that your self-perception is probably a bit too negatively biased. It's normal to have a negatively biased self-perception, but my guess is that your self-perception got warped a bit too much from decades of "sheer terror".

I can't really speak directly from experience with imposter syndrome, but what currently helps me deal with negative self-perception is acknowledgement and acceptance:

* cognitive reflection: Understand and acknowledge that many of my self-thoughts are negatively biased[1].

* meditative reflection[2]: Practice unconditional acceptance. Accept everything, accept my own performance, accept my negative thoughts of my own performance, accept my feelings of ineptitude.

... Unless "I'm only accomplishing a small fraction of what I could... I expect people to realize that any moment now" actually means that you expect people to find out that you're secretly really awesome and deep-down you're actually way better than all of them. That's probably not imposter syndrome.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion

[2] I don't really meditate per se regularly, I'm trying to illustrate that there are different ways to mentally reflect. Rational, logical, emotional, spiritual, whatever.

[TomK32]

I bet you I'm much more lazy than you :-)

But I don't do it purpose, none of us with ADHD do once we loose interest in a project. That's why we keep skipping from one project to the next to keep the thrill up. It looks horrible in my CV.

[falcolas]

You're just carrying on what you were called by your parents, teachers, coaches, and peers. ADHD and being called lazy is common. And when we're told that so frequently, we begin to believe it.

Even though it's not true. Sometimes no amount of mental effort can break past the barriers we face on a daily, hourly, even minute by minute basis.

[llamaLord]

> still think of myself as a lazy cunt.

Unrelated, but "spot the Australian"

[defrost]

Might be an Australian but at least not an F*ing Australian

~ This Is Serious Mum (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/www.tism.wanker.com)

[2-3-7-43-1807]

to see yourself as a "cunt" is definitely rather unhelpful for just about anything.