[seqizz]

We also do not let people into the friend circle just because they have money (I hope). IMHO healthiest "social media" I could think is interest groups. They eventually need some kind of donation from one or more people, but with no or minimal barriers.

[strken]

Barriers to entry don't have to be financial. One can imagine a community of artists who require you to mail them a traditional media sketch before they'll let you in. One of the clubs I know of requires you to go on three hikes before they'll make you a member and give you access to their website.

In both cases there's a small financial barrier (being able to pay for postage or your share or petrol money) but a sizeable time barrier (spending hours on a sketch or walking a total of about 50km).

[skeeter2020]

There are a lot of things where effort is inherent in the derived value, or even the primary value. It's a solid proxy for how much you care, which is so important. A trivial example: I sent someone at work who loves to share candy a giant back of gummies; HR came after me because "tax reasons" (incorrectly in this case) and wanted to "gross up" their paycheque with a spot bonus. Which do you think is more impactful: the trip I took to the store, thinking of this person and mailing it to them, or the $26 pre-tax "bonus" they'd get in 2 weeks?

[SamDc73]

For me no of course, but if you think about unintentionally your friends are from the same income group really (for the most part), if you are rich and go to private school, your friends are most likely rich, and usually hang around "fancy" places.

[AStonesThrow]

I was briefly a member of a church-related singles group. Their activities revolved around visiting a different church every Sunday. And also doing activities on weekends that involved a lot of car travel and significant admission fees, if only viewing a film at the mall cinema.

I had a real commitment to my home parish at the time. I was involved in ministries weekly, where I could not simply flit about anywhere I wanted. Sure, as a group we could meet many strangers on this itinerary, but I risked severing all ties with my spiritual home!

The activities were sometimes active and sometimes passive, such as hiking, dancing, or going to a festival or something. And I quickly gave up on everything, because it seemed like the group was not really oriented to pairing people off, but more of a self-sustaining club where people gained "volunteer responsibilities" and were thus pressured into staying in the "singles group" no matter what their relationship status. Also, having no vehicle of my own, I'd either opt out of traveling, or I'd hit someone up to carpool, and that wasn't always copacetic.

I also found, on dating websites, this mentality that single Catholics would be jet-setters, traveling all over the world on pilgrimage. That they would generate a steady stream of photographs and social media posts from their adventures. That they would have marvelous, expensive hobbies and be so active in volunteerism. For crying out loud! I wondered how these people would ever have space in their lives for a significant other! All I wanted to do was hang around home, go for walks, prepare a nice meal at home once in a while. But the dating sites seemed geared exclusively for high-maintenance and upper-middle-class go-getters. Again, I felt like it was a clique of "professional singles" who didn't really expect to pair off and get married.

[aspenmayer]

Well, Paul did say (paraphrasing), maybe it would be better if you did not marry...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Epistle_to_the_Corinthia...

Perhaps these Catholics are onto something. There's nothing wrong per se with individuals in a singles group or the group itself proper having no expectations of dating or marriage. It's probably not the norm, but I think it's actually somewhat better that way, especially for those who don't intend to date/marry. Community and fellowship in a church environment should not be withdrawn from those who choose to remain single or celibate. I think that historically many church groups have silently discouraged being single by ostracism or judgement, which is definitely not what Jesus would do, in my opinion.

I'm sure there is someone for you out there. All relationships are valid. Modern society has such intense focus on external sources of validation, such as a partner or spouse, but good friends are always in short supply. As the proverb says, a friend can be closer than a brother.