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by kelseyfrog 618 days ago
I couldn't sleep at night because it would cause cognitive dissonance. I don't think I'm capable of intellectualizing my way out of it.

More power to the people who can do it. It's just not within my ability.

1 comments

im curious what the dissonance is. what is the it in "out of _it_"

is it just cultural instinct and expectation?

This is one of those comments that stuck with me. First because of my inability to articulate a response, but I've had some time to think.

When I think about why I'm uncomfortable with the idea, it stems from feeling like a lack the ability to push back against bigotry with tact. While some people have this skill, I do not. The consequence of this is either not engaging with bigots, or not speaking up when something bigoted is said.

I believe that not speaking up against bigoted beliefs implicitly normalizes their acceptability. What I mean by this is that I personally and deeply value tolerance and non-judgementalness with the exception of bigotry[1].

Faced with an inability to tactfully push back, I feel left with not engaging with folks who are overtly bigoted. Saying, "well you should not do that or feel that way," doesn't change the emotional response I have to that situation, it only pushes the intellectual part of me farther way from the emotional side creating a wider gap between feeling and intellect - effectively sowing greater cognitive dissonance.

More power to the people who have the skills to tactfully engage with bigots, but that's not me right now. Maybe someday.

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance