[sanqui]

I think you are mischaracterizing both fandoms and furries (which I categorize to be distinct, because they're not "fans" of any particular popular media property, but I already digress). Much like people can form major hobbies in music, fantasy (books), theatre, sports et cetera, being a furry means being appreciative of art of anthropomorphic animals and connecting with other people over that. Now there are many in the furry community who are hurt, traumatized, "not normal", seeking escape as you are saying, and the community is exceptional for giving them space (that's a good thing, this community is then replacing traditional spaces providing community that may be failing them, like churches). But being a furry in itself is nothing indicative of not being able to, at the same time, live a "normal" life that you imagine.