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by cjbgkagh
637 days ago
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> as they worry too many new friends will diminish their own place in their friend group. I have several friends in Seattle that have explicitly told me this. PNW is more about not inviting, the flakiness is more of Californian thing. As someone who has spent substantial time in both places as part of a lifetime of being an expat to many places around the world the PNW and California do indeed have these distinct characteristics. Other expat friends have independently come to the same conclusions. As an expat you get to do the whole making new friends thing over and over again so I know what it's normally like and I know when it's different. It's a generalization, which is not to say that all individuals in these locals have these characteristics. |
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I don't want to cast aspersions on your friends in Seattle, but...maybe you need better friends.
I've been a local and I've been an expat (5 years in western Europe). I feel that the default PNW "mental model" is diametrically opposed from the expat mindset.
Expats don't want to be tied down, they want to see as much as possible, see the world, meet lots of people. Build friendship quickly and deeply, but then move on too.
PNW is nothing like that.
IMO your expats coming to this conclusion that the reason why the PNW locals are the way they are is a failure of imagination of expats - a lack of understanding of outdoorsy introverts.
We're not thinking about our positions in friend groups.