I know you kid, but theoretically running crowdstrike-susceptible windows on a spacecraft would work fine (at least I claim so), because you'd need a robust backdoor / OOB into it anywa (And I'm no windows fanboy, I hate them just as much as the next guy). Crowdstrike bug would cause an N-day loss of comms just like a thousand other things they plan for in a spacecraft.
> the US government isn’t burning taxpayer dollars on a ten figure spaceship just to have us push a Crowdstrike update on it.