[illuminant]

"I hates them!"

I guess they are necessary in some edge cases, or hack jobs, or there may even be strategy for building logic from the DB out. However as a dev I cannot comprehend why anyone wouldn't just solve the problem in code...

[gregjor]

You have not worked with enterprise systems, I gather. Putting business logic in the database engine makes sense sometimes for performance reasons. Even better, with stored procedures core business logic gets written once, not multiple times in different client applications implemented in different languages.

[illuminant]

I solve these very problems in the API stack. I cannot speak to raw performance at scale if that's you're thing, though I have long since solved the feature logic lifecycle, and it does not (generally) need this.

I would use UUID related stored procedures, for converting between forms, allowing binary IDs, uuid-form, and base32. Utilities I get. Logic override and transformation I do not. If it came to that, it's a legacy hack or you're doing it wrong.

[gregjor]

Calling a very common software architecture a hack or “doing it wrong” demonstrates a lack of experience with large-scale database systems, or an inability to imagine other ways to develop software, or both.

[illuminant]

Lolz

I'll leave it there.

[gregjor]

Look up Oracle sometime, and how entire enterprise applications get developed primarily in the database. Common with SQL Server and DB/2 as well.

[illuminant]

Please, stop.

Citing archaic and dead trends to someone who grew up profiting by their unnecessary complexity does you no favors.