[mindentropy]

I suffer from anxiety and OCD although not diagnosed. I feel immense pain seeing many of my personal projects left at a standstill on my table because I get anxious about some random thing and get obsessive thoughts of it especially losing everything. This has devastated my personal life and relationships. I remember as a child crying and telling my parents about this but they took it as me making excuses to not work.

How did you manage to handle your anxiety and OCD? I am taking steps where I just start and that puts me on a groove and I forget most of my problems including my environment but the biggest problem I face is to just start. I kind of feel ok when I have people around but when I am alone it is a complete mess.

[klann89]

I can relate to you - I've been through a lot of shit with my OCD but I have finally figured it out. I found that in my case, diet plays a huge role. If I consume sugary crap it ruins my day, whereas something fresh like a lot of fruits and vegetables promotes calmness on the inside. Along with that, fitness is another thing that worked wonders. I would be on turbo mode with my mind working 3x more effectively with 0 anxiety after a quick workout and it would stay that way for a long time during the day.

For psychological changes - I trained myself mentally to not care about any shit so much actually, and I made it a habit of giving my best at everything I do, regardless of the outcome. I was a huge underachiever for a long time and a vast majority of the reason for all that was basically my own fear of failing. Once I started to only care about investing my best effort and not thinking about the results, I started to see some stellar consequences. The other piece of puzzle is to keep myself busy and occupied. It works wonders and gives me that calming feeling when I am focused on things. Working on my favorite projects is another plus. It will be a plus in your case too, I am sure.

I found that my neurodivergence is also my superpower that helps me identify and think of solutions incredibly quickly and effectively. That gave me a lot of confidence. I've been on a roll ever since. I keep pushing myself to higher limits that my baseline is now high by default. I have mentally trained myself in such a way that success is the only thing I live for now, and I am not going to settle for anything less than extraordinary. I will make sure my son also gets this sort of coaching from me from the get-go.

In your case with the projects you have at hand, I will recommend attacking them one at a time, and not touch others until you arrive at a closing point for the current project. That will surely reduce the mental load. Also, doing things to improve your outlook on your own self works wonders. It provides positivity and self-belief. You can do this.

[mindentropy]

I can so relate to this. I had anxiety since my childhood for some reason especially exams. I used to consistently stand top 3 in my class. Just like you I have under performed hugely for the amount of work that I have put in and I used to get this feedback constantly from my friends and classmates. I used to put a lot of effort and consistently and obsessively outworked my peers. The under performance made me a lot bitter unfortunately.

>I trained myself mentally to not care about any shit so much actually, and I made it a habit of giving my best at everything I do, regardless of the outcome.

I have started doing this. When I hit rock bottom, I lost a lot of relationships except my parents. This was kind of most comforting as I was now transported back to my younger days where I used to be absorbed with my books and projects. I have now started reading again and restarted a lot of projects. For some reason interacting with people causes me a lot of anxiety. Weirdly, being with elder older people has a very calming effect in me perhaps due to them taking things slow.

>Along with that, fitness is another thing that worked wonders.

Yes and this is something that I miss. My new office sucks and I don't get out as much. I used walk a lot when I was younger and was very slim and light. Now I have put on weight I feel that sluggishness and tiredness which I really have to work on. Along with this I want to get back to good sleeping habits. I feel incredible when I have a good night's sleep.

>Working on my favorite projects is another plus. It will be a plus in your case too, I am sure.

Yes definitely. I am feeling restlessness these few years because work at office is taking all my time. Personal projects used to give a me a lot of peace of mind as I still have my natural inquisitiveness. Learning new things is something I love to do and keeps my mind healthy and fresh. Working with my hands is something that I love to do.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. At least I know that I am not alone in this mess.