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One time, I was contracting on a large project, which had a pair of outside niche domain experts on-site, coming from some complex-systems-that-must-work institution. One of the pair of experts was very technical, possibly nervous/uncomfortable, and not projecting any charisma by default. Though warmed up when you had an intelligent question, and not in a I-know-something-you-don't way, but an I'm-glad-to-be-talking-with-a-fellow-techie way. And the other of the pair was immediately charming and gracious to everyone. Maybe the kind of person you'd want in the C-suite or boardroom, and also doing management by walking around the shop floor, and talking with the line workers. So, on a project email list or similar, one of the employees (who I was supplementing as a contractor) for some reason was dissing the expert pair as "troglodytes" or something like that. I think probably simultaneously dissing the initial manner of the one very-technical person, and also the old-school tradition they came from. Knowing my place as a mere contractor, but rejecting my place (per usual), I spoke up, and said that I'd actually met with them, and they were charming. And they had essential knowledge that no one else had. The higher-poise person of that pair of experts was maybe also serving a bit of a party host role. Though, when they can't be selective of all the party introductions that must be made, the introductions also depend on all the guests also being reasonably gracious. Calling a fellow guest a troglodyte wouldn't sound nice, nor lend itself to an "effective" party. |