[tines]

Social shaming is so watered down these days. Used to, if you stepped out of line, society would shun you and nobody would patronize your business or whatever, and you'd have to move out of town. Nowadays you get some mean online comments and downvotes. Nothing in your actual life changes, because modern society is so bureaucratized (in a good way) that most social functions operate independently of your social approval rating. Yet so many people live in fear.

People need to mentally toughen up, stop being "influenced" and just make their decisions and live their lives.

Either breastmilk has health benefits or it doesn't. This shouldn't be sensitive information. We should not care whether this adds "toxic fuel" to some online idiot fest. People who can and want to breastfeed, do it. Who gives a flying fuck what facebook commenters say or how much "guilt" they are "layering" on.

If you're going to live in a modern bureaucracy and take all the shit that comes with it, at least use the advantages boldly!

[rimunroe]

I'm not saying this information shouldn't be shared or anything, but I certainly understand the sentiment expressed by the person you're replying to.

I don't know what your personal experience is, but your comment comes off as cold and unrealistic. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period are incredibly difficult. They deprive people of sleep (often starting many weeks before birth), and frequently come with depression and complicated feelings about one's body. Breast milk seems best for infants, but the way that information is conveyed is often filled with judgement--even from trained medical personnel working in obstetrics and pediatrics!--and absolutism which doesn't adequately balance the degree of benefit it provides with the likely already fragile mental health of the breastfeeding parent. Babies fed with formula turn out just fine, but you'd be surprised how rarely prospective/new parents get reminded of that.

[tines]

> from trained medical personnel working in obstetrics and pediatrics

This I would agree is a different situation because of the implicit trust involved. But the solution there is much simpler and easier than reforming facebook trolls: just train medical professionals better. In the same way doctors don't judge you for coming in for a drug overdose or treating you for an STD, don't judge people who don't breastfeed. Medical pros have a code of ethics that they abide by.

I realize that my comment comes off as cold, and I certainly would not talk this way to someone whom I know has had trouble in this area. But part of growing up in the 21st century is learning how to recognize and dismiss worthless comments, and I feel that that skill is not being taught to people. By all means, compassion and love should rule in specific interactions. But part of love is equipping people to be healthy, and sometimes being healthy is being extremely dismissive (towards online comments).

[rimunroe]

> But the solution there is much simpler and easier than reforming facebook trolls: just train medical professionals better. In the same way doctors don't judge you for coming in for a drug overdose or treating you for an STD, don't judge people who don't breastfeed. Medical pros have a code of ethics that they abide by.

I think that's easier said than done. We do train medical personnel to make decisions and give advice based on science, but they're human. I don't know about STDs, but I've known of people who've been treated poorly by medical staff after overdoses. People have bad days and work exhausting shifts, and some are just jerks.

> But part of growing up in the 21st century is learning how to recognize and dismiss worthless comments, and I feel that that skill is not being taught to people. By all means, compassion and love should rule in specific interactions. But part of love is equipping people to be healthy, and sometimes being healthy is being extremely dismissive (towards online comments).

I can appreciate that. It's certainly an important skill. However, some of the most harmful comments can come from the people closest to you, not strangers online. When a parent or sibling says something disapproving to a stressed parent struggling to feed their babies it's rough. I'd just like more writing to convey that formula is fine, and what really matters is feeding your child in the hopes that it could permeate the culture a bit more and thus help in all of these situations.