[watwut]

> You are not responsible for other's emotions (though you are responsible for your actions)

I know you do not mean it this way, but I really dislike this saying. It is not even true, actually.

The most frequent use of this is people who are being, well, jerks, trying to argue that when people feel bad after being put down, insulted or treated with passive aggression, it is their own fault.

If people feel bad after your actions, yes in many circumstances you are responsible.

[sethammons]

If you are acting like a jerk, that is an action, and I expressly put that you are responsible for your actions.

You punch someone and they are angry: your action is related. You arrive at work and say hi to your boss as they barely acknowledge you and are in a mood: you should not default to "what did I do wrong and how do I fix it oh god I am gonna get fired" - while it may also still be appropriate to try to cheer them up.

[bgilroy26]

I think different senses of responsibility are under discussion

The parent comment I believe was saying that we do not orchestrate other people's emotions and you are saying that we do impact other people's emotions and both can be true

[watwut]

The whole article this discussion is under is all about intentionally orchestrating other peoples emotions.

[Loughla]

So much of today's self-help (and a lot of therapy styles) seems to be focused on selfish, self-centered behavior.